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Liddle on the loose Follow our festival virgin’s T in the Park camping diary

Festival virgin Andrew Liddle and veteran David McCann will be sampling the Strathallan camping experience over the weekend.
Festival virgin Andrew Liddle and veteran David McCann will be sampling the Strathallan camping experience over the weekend.

In Heart of Darkness, Charles Marlow tells his crew of his travels to the Belgian Congo.

Scenes of unspeakable squalor, deprivation and human suffering unfold as Marlow journeys into the centre of Africa in search of the mad trader, Mr Kurtz.

Tales of cannibals, deranged pilgrims and drunken sailors swirl around.

As Marlowe journeys further up the Congo river, madness confronts him at every turn.

Speaking with colleagues before attending T in the Park for the first time, the scenes described in Conrad’s classic sounded rather prescient.Follow my T in the Park campsite adventures atwww.thecourier.co.uk/t-in-the-park-2015all weekend.I have been told a jest surely that spare tents have on occasion been used as makeshift toilets. Others claim drink-fuelled binges are part of the experience. As the journey continues to the beat of the latest pop song, festival goers become muddier, sweatier and smellier.

On a brighter note, I am also informed of myriad positives there must be, or the thousands would not return year after year.

The bands are, I’ve been reliably informed, extremely popular.

The quality of the cooking is apparently far superior to your average football stadium pie.

And there’s even a beauty salon something I am rather looking forward to after being sheltered from the elements by just a thin layer of canvas.

Indeed, it seems that there will be a much sunnier side to this trip, unlike the Belgian Congo.

Nevertheless, it remains to be seen whether I can escape without exclaiming: “The horror, the horror!”