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Fantastic Finns, super Swedes A Baltic adventure

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In the inimitable words of Monty Python: “Finland, Finland, Finland, The country where I want to be, Eating breakfast or dinner, Or snack lunch in the hall.” It was with this level of searing cultural insight that William Lockwood stepped off the plane in Helsinki, ready to tackle whatever hurdles the country could throw at him, with a taste of Sweden thrown in for good luck.

Essentially a series of islands connected by over 40 bridges, Stockholm is of course also surrounded by water, and has a singular sense of history and identity. We saw some of its 12 palaces and explored its incredible City Hall (pictured), which could have been plucked directly from Tolkien’s vision of The Lord Of The Rings. To be honest, mostly we were all agog at the incredible vistas that appeared in the middle of seemingly urban environments.

Stockholm is a very hip, affluent city, and food and drink are expensive. This cool image was reinforced when we checked into the Scandic Hotel Malmen, where every guest seemed to think they were a rockstar… although to be fair, most of them actually were (the hotel is in the middle of a knot of music venues and often hosts visiting acts). With its unusual wallpaper and trendily-moustachioed staff, they fit right in. Decidedly unhip and all the more loveable for it is the theme park/museum Skansen. Accessible by boat (as much of the city is), it is full of reconstructions of Swedish settlements throughout the ages and gives a real insight into the country’s history.

It also houses an open-air zoo, with animals ranging from wolves, wolverines and brown bears to the rather less majestic fox. (If people are really that impressed by seeing a fox, they should come and hang out on my street in Dundee.)

A short ferry trip away from Skansen is the Vasa musem. I had never heard of the warship Vasa before visiting Stockholm, which now seems ridiculous she was launched with great fanfare in 1628 and lasted a full 20 minutes before sinking.

Incredibly, after over 300 years, she was painstakingly pulled up from the depths of Stockholm harbour in near-mint condition. Thanks to the purity of the water in which she rested, 95% of the ship that visitors see in the museum is totally original.

It was with heavy hearts that our group took the express train to the airport to begin our journey home. We had begun to pick up bits and bobs of Swedish (although Finnish is rather more difficult) and it would be strange not to have to make the mental jumps from krone to euros to pounds, which usually resulted in whispering “What?!” when we realised the actual price of this sandwich or cup of coffee.

However, both cities had so much to offer that our entire group will no doubt return in the future.

The Monty Python team’s thoughts on Sweden are frustratingly unclear, but their heartfelt paean to its Baltic neighbour can serve for both of them: “Finland, Finland, Finland Finland has it all.”William Lockwood flew with Blue1, part of Scandinavian Airlines. Blue1 flies direct from Edinburgh to Helsinki twice a week on Mondays and Fridays. One-way fares start from ÂŁ101 including taxes and charges. For more information visit www.flysas.co.uk. In Helsinki he stayed at Hotelli Seurahuone (www.hotelliseurahuone.fi) courtesy of VisitFinland (www.visitfinland.com). The Baltic cruise was courtesy of Viking Line (www.vikingline.fi). In Stockholm he stayed at Scandic Hotel Malmen (www.scandichotels.com/malmen) and ate at Restaurang Stekpannan (www.stekpannan.com). He visited Skansen (www.skansen.se) and the Vasa museum (www.vasamuseet.se/en).When your first experience of a city is being handed a bottle of cava to drink through a straw during a night-time bus tour, one can be prone to generosity of spirit but Helsinki really is an attractive place with inhabitants to match.

Its Catholic and Protestant cathedrals mix with parliament and university buildings downtown, while it also has a modernist monument to composer Jean Sibelius and even a stadium for an Olympics that were never held (the second world war rather got in the way of the 1940 Games).

There is water everywhere you look not surprising, as Finland has 200,000 lakes and nearly as many islands and on a clear day you can see Sauna Island a 15-minute taxi boat ride out into the Gulf of Finland.

Calling it Sauna Island is neither a crass national stereotype nor is it an exaggeration it is literally an island covered in saunas, steam rooms and hot tubs, perched at increasingly crazy angles.

Another impressive stat is that Finland, a country of five million people, has over two million saunas the equivalent of two per family. Most Finns use the sauna twice every week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

With the first saunas as old as the Pyramids of Giza, it is easy to see why they have remained the national obsession. A session in an aspen-fired smoke sauna is cathartic, relaxing and generally nourishing for the soul.

Leaping into the water around Sauna Island where the Gulf of Finland meets the Baltic Sea may seem less inviting, but follow that with a drink in the hot tub while watching the sun come up over Helsinki and you have an experience that should be mandatory for most people on Earth.

Having sweated out our various toxins, the group made the rather surreal return journey across the gulf with our charming guide and published author on saunas Ulla-Maija and stumbled blearily back to our hotel. We were staying at Hotelli Seurahuone, one of Helsinki’s oldest hotels, which is centrally located and thus very handy for exploring the city.

Helsinki during the day, you’ll be relieved to hear, is just as attractive as Helsinki by night. At weekends it bustles with market traders while bands play for free in one of the central squares, while the water is never far away. It is also very tourist-friendly most Finns speak such good English that I felt humblingly stupid for most of my stay, except when I could deploy my unparalleled knowledge of Finnish footballers in the Premiership. Then the tables were turned.

Unfortunately we could not stay in Helsinki forever and took one last picturesque stroll to the port, where we boarded Viking Line’s monumental Mariella ferry.

She took 2500 passengers en route to Stockholm among her assorted restaurants, cafes, pubs and clubs, yet somehow never seemed crowded. We were given a run-down of Viking Line’s history by sales executive Gitte, who was totally professional but also irrepressibly good fun. She went above and beyond the call of duty by enduring our wretched attempts at ‘karaoke’, and let slip the worrying Finnish passion for Hamish Macbeth and Keeping Up Appearances.

The cruise across the Baltic was almost unrealistically beautiful. Tiny islands dotted the sea some uninhabited, some with holiday homes built precariously on their rugged cliffs while pleasure boats scudded across the water and massive ferries loomed on the horizon.

Just as importantly for a glutton like me, the food was out of this world. It was possible to eat almost an entire meal derived purely from reindeer and cheese, although the less said about the Elvis impersonator the better.

Despite our late-night karaoke endeavours, it was well worth getting up and on deck early to watch the journey into Stockholm, with the Mariella navigating the myriad islands and channels for hours. As we met our tour guide Eva and began our bus tour of Stockholm, it soon became clear that Sweden was engaged in a sly game of one-upmanship with Finland to see who could create the most jaw-dropping capital city (or at least so I thought).

When your first experience of a city is being handed a bottle of cava to drink through a straw during a night-time bus tour, one can be prone to generosity of spirit but Helsinki really is an attractive place with inhabitants to match.

Its Catholic and Protestant cathedrals mix with parliament and university buildings downtown, while it also has a modernist monument to composer Jean Sibelius and even a stadium for an Olympics that were never held (the second world war rather got in the way of the 1940 Games).

There is water everywhere you look not surprising, as Finland has 200,000 lakes and nearly as many islands and on a clear day you can see Sauna Island a 15-minute taxi boat ride out into the Gulf of Finland.

Calling it Sauna Island is neither a crass national stereotype nor is it an exaggeration it is literally an island covered in saunas, steam rooms and hot tubs, perched at increasingly crazy angles.

Another impressive stat is that Finland, a country of five million people, has over two million saunas the equivalent of two per family. Most Finns use the sauna twice every week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

With the first saunas as old as the Pyramids of Giza, it is easy to see why they have remained the national obsession. A session in an aspen-fired smoke sauna is cathartic, relaxing and generally nourishing for the soul.

Leaping into the water around Sauna Island where the Gulf of Finland meets the Baltic Sea may seem less inviting, but follow that with a drink in the hot tub while watching the sun come up over Helsinki and you have an experience that should be mandatory for most people on Earth.

Having sweated out our various toxins, the group made the rather surreal return journey across the gulf with our charming guide and published author on saunas Ulla-Maija and stumbled blearily back to our hotel. We were staying at Hotelli Seurahuone, one of Helsinki’s oldest hotels, which is centrally located and thus very handy for exploring the city.

Helsinki during the day, you’ll be relieved to hear, is just as attractive as Helsinki by night. At weekends it bustles with market traders while bands play for free in one of the central squares, while the water is never far away. It is also very tourist-friendly most Finns speak such good English that I felt humblingly stupid for most of my stay, except when I could deploy my unparalleled knowledge of Finnish footballers in the Premiership. Then the tables were turned.

Unfortunately we could not stay in Helsinki forever and took one last picturesque stroll to the port, where we boarded Viking Line’s monumental Mariella ferry.

She took 2500 passengers en route to Stockholm among her assorted restaurants, cafes, pubs and clubs, yet somehow never seemed crowded. We were given a run-down of Viking Line’s history by sales executive Gitte, who was totally professional but also irrepressibly good fun. She went above and beyond the call of duty by enduring our wretched attempts at ‘karaoke’, and let slip the worrying Finnish passion for Hamish Macbeth and Keeping Up Appearances.

The cruise across the Baltic was almost unrealistically beautiful. Tiny islands dotted the sea some uninhabited, some with holiday homes built precariously on their rugged cliffs while pleasure boats scudded across the water and massive ferries loomed on the horizon.

Just as importantly for a glutton like me, the food was out of this world. It was possible to eat almost an entire meal derived purely from reindeer and cheese, although the less said about the Elvis impersonator the better.

Despite our late-night karaoke endeavours, it was well worth getting up and on deck early to watch the journey into Stockholm, with the Mariella navigating the myriad islands and channels for hours. As we met our tour guide Eva and began our bus tour of Stockholm, it soon became clear that Sweden was engaged in a sly game of one-upmanship with Finland to see who could create the most jaw-dropping capital city (or at least so I thought).

When your first experience of a city is being handed a bottle of cava to drink through a straw during a night-time bus tour, one can be prone to generosity of spirit but Helsinki really is an attractive place with inhabitants to match.

Its Catholic and Protestant cathedrals mix with parliament and university buildings downtown, while it also has a modernist monument to composer Jean Sibelius and even a stadium for an Olympics that were never held (the second world war rather got in the way of the 1940 Games).

There is water everywhere you look not surprising, as Finland has 200,000 lakes and nearly as many islands and on a clear day you can see Sauna Island a 15-minute taxi boat ride out into the Gulf of Finland.

Calling it Sauna Island is neither a crass national stereotype nor is it an exaggeration it is literally an island covered in saunas, steam rooms and hot tubs, perched at increasingly crazy angles.

Another impressive stat is that Finland, a country of five million people, has over two million saunas the equivalent of two per family. Most Finns use the sauna twice every week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

With the first saunas as old as the Pyramids of Giza, it is easy to see why they have remained the national obsession. A session in an aspen-fired smoke sauna is cathartic, relaxing and generally nourishing for the soul.

Leaping into the water around Sauna Island where the Gulf of Finland meets the Baltic Sea may seem less inviting, but follow that with a drink in the hot tub while watching the sun come up over Helsinki and you have an experience that should be mandatory for most people on Earth.

Having sweated out our various toxins, the group made the rather surreal return journey across the gulf with our charming guide and published author on saunas Ulla-Maija and stumbled blearily back to our hotel. We were staying at Hotelli Seurahuone, one of Helsinki’s oldest hotels, which is centrally located and thus very handy for exploring the city.

Helsinki during the day, you’ll be relieved to hear, is just as attractive as Helsinki by night. At weekends it bustles with market traders while bands play for free in one of the central squares, while the water is never far away. It is also very tourist-friendly most Finns speak such good English that I felt humblingly stupid for most of my stay, except when I could deploy my unparalleled knowledge of Finnish footballers in the Premiership. Then the tables were turned.

Unfortunately we could not stay in Helsinki forever and took one last picturesque stroll to the port, where we boarded Viking Line’s monumental Mariella ferry.

She took 2500 passengers en route to Stockholm among her assorted restaurants, cafes, pubs and clubs, yet somehow never seemed crowded. We were given a run-down of Viking Line’s history by sales executive Gitte, who was totally professional but also irrepressibly good fun. She went above and beyond the call of duty by enduring our wretched attempts at ‘karaoke’, and let slip the worrying Finnish passion for Hamish Macbeth and Keeping Up Appearances.

The cruise across the Baltic was almost unrealistically beautiful. Tiny islands dotted the sea some uninhabited, some with holiday homes built precariously on their rugged cliffs while pleasure boats scudded across the water and massive ferries loomed on the horizon.

Just as importantly for a glutton like me, the food was out of this world. It was possible to eat almost an entire meal derived purely from reindeer and cheese, although the less said about the Elvis impersonator the better.

Despite our late-night karaoke endeavours, it was well worth getting up and on deck early to watch the journey into Stockholm, with the Mariella navigating the myriad islands and channels for hours. As we met our tour guide Eva and began our bus tour of Stockholm, it soon became clear that Sweden was engaged in a sly game of one-upmanship with Finland to see who could create the most jaw-dropping capital city (or at least so I thought).