Watchers of recently finished BBC mumble-fest Wolf Hall will know exactly how easy it is for a king to grab a bride.
Pick out a comely lass from the multitudes, give her the come hithers and she’s yours quicker than you can bring a sword down on the last one’s neck.
And things haven’t changed much since Tudor times. If anything, it’s easier.
Our own future heir to the throne, for example, famously spotted his queen-to-be in a line-up laid on especially for the gawking masses.
He didn’t even have to fight his way through frills and bodices to see her in her scants for the first time.
Her turn as a fashion model at the St Andrews Uni Don’t Walk fashion show left little to the imagination.
Of course that was a few years ago and things have progressedfor Wills and Kate since then.
There’s more chance of John Swinney pinning a Union flag on the new Forth Bridge than us catching a glimpse of Prince George’s maw’s undercrackers now.
But who knows, a future world leader may have been strutting his or her stuff at the latest Don’t Walk so we went along on Saturday just in case.
The results of our endeavours are laid bare in Monday’s Courier. (And here’s a taster from last year if you can’t wait).
You can also see how Steve McCrorie and his fans celebrated him punching Kaiser Chiefs crooner Ricky Wilson in the face (and boy, did they celebrate).
And we reveal some of the oddest FOI questions put to Scotland’s councils (including where best to find publicly-thumbed copies of grubby mummy porn, Fifty Shades of Grey).
Our exclusive columnist Alex Salmond is laid bear (you’ll see what we did there if you buy a copy of the paper).
And our local sport coverage in unrivalled as we pick over the bones of desperate performances by, well, just about everybody really.