The native phrase that you’re looking for, Vern Cotter, is “Hud yer cuddies”.
Determined to dampen any overreaching enthusiasm at BT Murrayfield on Saturday, the Scotland head coach at last reached for the reputation that preceded him to this country; the hard-to-please, no nonsense Kiwi farmer.
Forgiving, almost avuncular a gruff sort of uncle, right enough, but still when Scotland were struggling of late, he dismissed Saturday’s record six-try 48-7 victory over Italy in their only home World Cup warm-up with nearly contempt.
“Once again a mixed bag,” he almost sneered when invited to critique his team’s performance. “Three tries from interceptions, let’s put a dose of reality on that. We weren’t very accurate.
“There was improvement in some areas. But we need to improve all over. We’ve done nothing yet.”
It seemed harsh in the light of the kind of howking that Scotland inflicted on the Italians, the kind of result they’ve rarely inflicted on their usual rivals for the Six Nations wooden spoon. But although much of it might have been posturing for the audience we’ve just won by 40 points but look what a perfectionist I am he’s also absolutely right.
You’d think any optimism would have long been wrung out of Scottish rugby followers by now but they’re usually first to think any green shoots are going to be rare orchids. Cotter is trying to instil some reality.
This match was a pleasurable run-out in the late summer sunshine and a confidence builder for sure, especially for the first two matches of the World Cup campaign. But for the business end of the pool campaign in Newcastle, the games against South Africa and Samoa that will surely determine whether Scotland move on to London for the last eight, it has limited relevance.
Italy were awful, at all points. Penalised in the first three scrummages as Alasdair Dickinson removed what’s left of Martin Castrogiovanni’s remaining reputation, they seemed utterly stunned they didn’t have an advantage there. When their mauling game was stalled for once there was clearly no Plan B to reach for.
Tommaso Allan, who some deluded people thought Scotland should have pursued more vigorously after he played for Scotland at Under-20 before choosing Italy, was again a liability at 10. Scott Johnson has made many mistakes in his time at Murrayfield but anyone who still thinks one of them is preferring any of the five possible 10s in Scotland’s RWC squad to Allan needs their head felt.
Scotland did defend well and aggressively, forcing pressure and turnovers, and directly resulting in the three interception tries in the second half. But even Japan’s attacking variety and threat is better than this.
Much of the good defensive work was John Barclay’s and his outstanding performance and try gave those who have been at best undecided on his merits some food for thought. Cotter pointedly declined to give outright praise to the open side afterwards, but probably because he didn’t want to give away any thoughts of the incredibly difficult back row decision he was making when picking his final squad of 31 yesterday.
Still, he knows a lot of the names that will be revealed on Tuesday. The Edinburgh front row of Dickinson, Ross Ford and WP Nel is clearly the best available to him. The first three locks are certain, and Jim Hamilton’s fate depends on whether they choose to take four outright second rows.
Greig Laidlaw is surely scrum-half and captain, his occasional wayward delivery yesterday no real issue in his first outing.
Finn Russell is the stick-on 10, becoming an orchestrator and showing the full range of his abilities, notably the cross kick for Sean Lamont’s first try and the long pass off his right hand for Tim Visser’s first.
He looked a danger to the Italian defence every time the ball was in his hands and neither he nor Jonny Gray seemed to have missed a beat since leading Glasgow to the PRO12 title in Belfast in May.
Stuart Hogg has no challenger at full-back, while the wings are interchangeable. Cotter would no doubt like to see Tommy Seymour and Sean Maitland, the probable first choices before camp began, in Paris in the final warm-up on Saturday night.
The centres are slightly different, especially as Alex Dunbar’s potential contribution is still unclear and surely won’t begin until the Springbok game at the earliest. It may be he’s held out of the squad in the assumption that an injury in the backs will allow him to come in once his comeback from ACL surgery is properly underway with a couple of games for Glasgow.
It’s all a gamble, but Scotland will not get to Twickenham for the quarter-finals without a few of those. Saturday showed, at the very least, they’ve got some cards to play.
Steve Scott’s World Cup 31
Props (5): Alasdair Dickinson, Ryan Grant, WP Nel, Gordon Reid, Jon Welsh.
Hookers (3): Fraser Brown, Ross Ford, Stuart McInally.
Locks (4): Grant Gilchrist, Jonny Gray, Richie Gray, Rob Harley.
Back row (5): John Barclay, Blair Cowan, David Denton, John Hardie, Josh Strauss.
Scrum halves (3): Sam Hidalgo-Clyne, Greig Laidlaw, Henry Pyrgos
Fly-halves (2): Finn Russell, Duncan Weir.
Centres (4): Mark Bennett, Peter Horne, Matt Scott, Richie Vernon.
Back Three/utility (5): Stuart Hogg, Sean Lamont, Sean Maitland, Tommy Seymour, Tim Visser.