My kingdom for a shed! I’ve a little one that needs repair but I want a big one, perhaps more of a summer house really or a cabin.
Something is happening, and I don’t know what it is. Oh you don’t either. Well, that puts us in a right pickle.
I’ve been back to the hardware store again. I always enter with trepidation in case the shopkeeper asks me a technical question.
I've been at it again. You say: “At what again? Wittering on? Forgetting where you put your brain? Being hospitalised after trying DIY?”
The first sign was waking up and seeing the lurid green numbers on the radio alarm facade flashing.
I’m beginning to yearn for a desk.
I have been marooned. Not quite on a desert island, but certainly far from civilisation and its Co-op Supermarket.
I have been horizontal mountaineering again. If you’re wondering what that is, pour yourself a small vat of sherry and cut yourself a slice of Madeira cake, then I’ll explain.
I have a new toy. And it has four eyes. I refer, as none of you have guessed, barring that professor of mysteries at the back, to a pair of binoculars (with two lenses at the back and two at the wotsname or front).
This news just in, folks: nothing is simple. I witter in the wake of a day in which I found that not one item I needed would open, work or switch on easily. And that included a can of sparkly water.