CALUM WOODGER: Three months on and Dundee’s clubs are still deep in The Thick of It

To borrow the eloquent wordage of Malcolm Tucker – the events of the last three months have been an omnishambles.

I’ve tried to come up with my own succinct quip to describe the SPFL’s collective handling of the coronavirus pandemic but nothing I could muster is better than Tucker’s all-encompassing phrase.

If he were not a character in a BBC political mockumentary, The Thick Of It’s cutting spin doctor would be having a field day at the mess our game still finds itself in.

I can just imagine him steaming in, giving Neil Doncaster what for, berating every club executive in sight and still having enough in the tank to offer an agitated appraisal to the MPs charged with running the country.

Few are going to come out of this period smelling like roses after almost 100 days of self-interest and politicking.

And, make no mistake, our city clubs are not out of the woods just yet.

Dundee’s involvement since the initial vote to call the 2019/20 season has been well-documented and much-maligned by some.

Managing director John Nelms ballot paper hokey cokey bordered on farcical as he, eventually, planted himself firmly in the league reconstruction camp.

Ann Budge took the on the baton in an attempt to save Hearts from the drop which, despite a legal challenge, I believe will fail as proceedings continue to be drawn out and top-flight action returns in August.

Some have claimed the Dark Blues were one of five Championship clubs who rejected the SPFL’s 14-10-10-10 proposal this week.

However, the club say they voted in favour of a shuffling of the pack but with their own variation in what they say was an informal consultation process, not a hard and fast vote.

That debate will, seemingly, rumble on for a while yet.

And the Dens Park club’s unfinished business ties in with near neighbours Dundee United’s potential fortunes.

With Hearts and Partick Thistle launching court action against the SPFL after their relegations, United’s Premiership promotion could be in jeopardy.

The Jambos and the Jags don’t want to deny United and fellow-lower league winners Raith Rovers and Cove Rangers their titles and prize money. Instead they want to save their skins and deny what has been granted to the champions.

It’s sorry situation, an omnishambles in fact, and our city clubs are firmly in The Thick Of It.

Questioning the potential signing of a man who has scored 57 goals in 78 games over the last two seasons probably sounds like madness.

Bear with me, though.

I’m not going to argue against Dundee United swooping for Dunfermline striker Kevin Nisbet.

I’m simply asking if he’s what the Terrors really need right now.

Some would argue you can’t have enough goals in your team and the former Raith hitman certainly provides that.

I’ve seen with my own eyes how he can dismantle teams single-handedly, our city clubs included.

However, with the presence of Lawrence Shankland (above) in United’s ranks, where does Nisbet fit?

The two are very similar. The main difference being Shankland is better and a proven quantity at the highest level.

Shelling out six figures in coronavirus times for a lesser version of what you have seems folly.

Particularly given there are other areas of the park which are more pressing concerns.

Of course, Nisbet is seen as a project and Shankland may soon leave but, for the meantime, I think the Tangerines should hold their fire.

Empty stadiums, fake crowd noise and a whole load of elbow bumping – this week saw the return of the Premier League but not as we know it.

There were, however, plenty goals and controversy to keep us entertained as Liverpool look to take a huge step to their first title in 30 years by defeating Everton tomorrow.

Watching the Man City-Arsenal game, though, it was clear some things never change. David Luiz, what were you thinking?!

Some say football and politics shouldn’t mix.

Recent events show this to be nonsense.

Hats off to Premier League players for showing their solidarity with Black Lives Matter and Marcus Rashford for his free school meals coup.