I was nine years old and watching television with all of my family, as families used to do. I didn’t hear the question my brother asked, but heard my mother’s reply. She pointed at the screen and said: “He’s jimmied your auntie”.
I was aghast. Some horrible old man on TV had jimmied my auntie?
I cast an accusatory glance at my father. As font of all knowledge, protector of the innocents and dispenser of justice, wasn’t it his job to ensure no members of our extended family were jimmied by raucous men who appeared on variety shows?
Next, I wondered exactly what “jimmied” meant. I had recently noticed there was a difference between boys and girls, apart from the skirts/trousers thing. I supposed it must be something to do with that.
I then considered which of my aunties might have been jimmied.
Not Margaret, surely. Who could fight through the cloud of Chanel No. 5? And anyone attempting to jimmy the robust Aunt Isobel surely would not live to tell the tale. No, it must have been Aunt Cathy. She was a prime jimmying candidate, you could tell by the way she attempted to kiss you at New Year.
I treated poor Aunt Cathy with a special respect and tenderness for several years after this, in sympathy for her jimmying ordeal.
It was many years later that a lightbulb moment made me realise my mother must have said, “He’s Jimmy Durante”, the American musician and raconteur.
It was a lesson that no matter what you think you have heard, if you don’t understand, check.
Not enough people do this. In fact, from their speech and writing, many obviously don’t do this.
I know a journalist who wrote “I’m not offay with this” in an email, which took some puzzling until I realised he meant “Au fait”.
I recently saw “straightened circumstances” when “straitened” was intended. I couldn’t help but laugh when seeing a young reporter write of “guilt-edged chances” in a football match, instead of gilt-edged.
I’ve seen references to European capital cities Stockhome and Moss Cow. I’ve read of Spanish football teams Reel Madrid and Bathaloner. I was amused to learn of a holy theft: “Glory to God in the heist”!
These are ridiculous and embarrassing mistakes, but the remedy is very simple. If you hear a word or phrase, but don’t understand it, look it up. Otherwise, you risk making a fool of yourself when you write it.
Word of the week
Rambunctious (adjective)
Energetic, noisy, boisterous, difficult to control. EG, “I was horrified at this rambunctious old man’s treatment of my aunt.”
Read the latest Oh my word! every Saturday in The Courier. Contact me at sfinan@dctmedia.co.uk
