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‘I wanted them to know ‘Daddy loved us immensely’: How Lynsey’s loss led her to become a bereavement doula

Lynsey and her family.
Lynsey and her family.

A single, horrifying moment changed Lynsey Ramsay’s life forever – the day she found out her partner Ross had taken his own life.

Lynsey, 43, from Kirkcaldy, felt her world collapse, fearing for how she’d cope raising the couple’s three kids alone.

But through the years of grief and sadness, Lynsey managed to raise her kids and transform her life, also becoming a bereavement doula.

Speaking out during Suicide Prevention Week, Lynsey reveals she’s making it her life’s work to help other families going through devastating loss, inspired by what she’s learned along the way.

Lynsey lost her partner Ross to suicide.

Lynsey now offers a bespoke coaching service where she combines holistic therapies and counselling for children and adults affected by grief, trauma, loss and illness.

What is a bereavement doula?

A bereavement doula is a companion who supports people at the end of their life.

They can also support adults, children and families affected by trauma loss and illness. Lynsey and her team of bereavement doulas use holistic therapies including healing, counselling and hypnosis work to help work on the transition from trauma or loss.

She has also created a programme for children called The Earth Star Programme and written a children’s book about loss and depression, inspired by her own family’s journey.

The family lost Ross in 2006. Despite his mental health battles, Lynsey says it still came as a complete shock.

“I never imagined one day he would take his own life. It’s a moment that will never leave me.

The last picture of Ross with the couple’s children Megan 3, Charlie 2 and Jack 4.

“Initially I couldn’t cope with the details of how Ross ended his life. I was in a childlike state and I didn’t want to hear the facts. Looking back I realise this was my inner child and not wanting to accept.”

Lynsey continues: “All I could focus on was the feelings of fear and having to face tomorrow, when my children would wake, and I’d have to find the words to tell them.

“It was the hardest and most painful thing I have ever had to do.”

I wanted them to know ‘Daddy loved us immensely’

Lynsey’s sole focus became supporting her kids through the dark time.

“My main priority was for my children not to grow up surrounded by anger and bitterness. I wanted them to feel safe and secure and to know their Daddy loved us immensely.”

Lynsey found being honest with her kids and guiding them to be open about their feelings meant they could come to terms with losing their dad.

Lynsey feels her own grief was delayed.

She explains: “We did try traditional therapy over the years, but often I felt there was something missing.

“You talk and all of the feelings come up but then you don’t know what to do with them.

“I was also so concerned about the kids my own grief was delayed. I realise now I needed to heal too for them to heal.”

New beginnings

As time passed, she did just that as the kids grew up.

After Lynsey met husband David, the couple welcomed their daughter Ava, now 9.

She also began her journey as a Reiki Master, as well as training in other holistic therapies.

Lynsey’s kids – Charlie 17, Jack 20, Ava 9 and Megan 19.

She now combines them all in coaching packages she creates for children and families.

“I’m so passionate about healing and children because of our own experience I understand the importance of the mind and soul aligning.

“For me it’s the whole package of healing within to then empower the soul, reprogramming the mind.

“So many of us are the child within holding a false belief system about ourselves and the world.

Jack 20, Ava 9, Charlie 17 and Megan 19 with David.

“That’s why it’s important to me that the therapies I offer are mixed.

“A lot of clients say they’ve never experienced anything like it and they feel I understand what they’re going through.

“I think it’s connection and feeling understood.

“I am in such a good place at the moment and there’s nothing I take for granted.

Lynsey has her own business.

“As well as training our Doula team and implementing pilot schemes within various organisations, I am also really excited to be working in collaboration with Aberlour Children’s Charity and Pathhead Primary school bringing in The Cherished Souls Coaching packages  for their children, family and staff.

“I’m empowering those who need it to find their true identity, belonging and purpose.”

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