“You don’t know what you’re facing. It’s all new. You’ve never been there before. The fear is unreal, not knowing if you’re going to make it home with your baby.”
Hayley Etchells, 32, is describing the moment she was told it was “inevitable” that her baby Freddie would be born prematurely.
It was just a matter of when.
The Dundee healthcare worker and her husband Bryan, 35, were given the heartstopping news by staff at Ninewells Hospital when she was six months pregnant.
The pair live in Broughty Ferry with their four children; Blair, 10, Alfie, nine, Tommy, four, and now 19-month-old Freddie.
Freddie arrived 13 weeks early after C-section
The pregnancy had been fraught with difficulties from day one.
Hayley suffers from blood clotting problems, which affected the placenta and Freddie’s oxygen and blood flow.
Two weeks after she was told he would need to come out early, the decision was made.
Hayley says: “I was told that we were preparing for delivery in the morning, and that was it.
“I was told that I couldn’t give birth to Freddie naturally because I was told that he wouldn’t survive that.
“So it had to be an emergency C-section.”
After a tense and complicated procedure owing to Freddie’s size and Hayley’s health issues, Freddie arrived 13 weeks early, on March 6 2023.
Although he was born at 27 weeks, weighing 575 grams, he was the size of a 23-week-old.
He was whisked away by the Neonatal care team, who put him on a ventilator.
Freddie was stable until day five, when his lungs began to deteriorate, leading to a critical situation.
The medical team tried various methods, including steroids and an oscillator, to stabilise him.
Emotional rollercoaster of ‘good and bad weeks’ at Ninewells as Freddie recovered
He improved with steroids but had to be put back on a ventilator, leading to a rollercoaster of “good and bad weeks” in the hospital.
Meanwhile, shortly after Freddie’s birth, Hayley was hospitalised for two weeks due to a large blood clot in her leg which left her unable to walk.
“I was in a wheelchair, so getting along to see Freddie was difficult,” she says.
“Poor Bryan was juggling between going to Ninewells to see Freddie, but also having to look after our other children, as well as myself.”
Bryan, a self-employed courier driver, was unable to work due to the circumstances.
With Hayley also on maternity from her role as a healthcare support worker at Ninewells, the family were put under immense financial strain.
Thankfully, support from relatives helped them through until they eventually found a way for Bryan to return to work.
Boys ‘over the moon’ to meet baby brother Freddie for the first time
Hayley felt reluctant to introduce Freddie to his brothers for the first time, unsure if they would understand.
But a conversation with the medical staff, who offered to help explain things to them, put her mind at ease.
She says: “We took all the boys in, and they were over the moon to see their brother.
“I think they were a bit surprised at what they saw.
“They were seeing lots of tubes and all of these different things, but the nurses had explained a little bit to them, and that made it easier for us, and it probably made it easier for the kids as well.”
After living “on edge” for around 10 weeks, the family got the news that Freddie was going to make it home.
It was just a matter of waiting for him to grow a little bigger.
Hayley says: “It was just all in good time, and it was waiting on Freddie and it was all on him.
“There wasn’t really much else that consultants needed to do. It was just waiting on him to grow.
“That period dragged, but it was worth it.”
Family life is ‘hard to juggle’ with Freddie’s healthcare needs
Life for the family before and after the birth of Freddie is “night and day.”
Although Freddie is doing well, he suffers from chronic lung disease and requires oxygen 24/7.
The family carry the portable one-litre tanks with them everywhere they go, while at home, he is hooked up to a 10-litre tank.
Only Hayley and Bryan are trained in how to administer this, meaning he can’t be left alone with anyone else.
Medical appointments and unexpected hospital admissions also make it difficult to balance family life with Freddie’s health needs.
Hayley says: “It’s a lot to juggle.
“You can find yourself in hospital for maybe two, three or four nights at a time.”
But Freddie’s siblings have taken it all in their stride.
Hayley says: “Freddie literally had a hospital admission not even two weeks ago.
“Sometimes, the boys go to bed at night and you say goodnight, and then they go up in the morning, and I’m not here, because me and Freddie are in Ninewells.
“And they accept it, they take it in their stride, and they get on with it, and they understand it.”
Hayley, who is still suffering from a painful, swollen leg after her blood clot, has also been unable to return to her full-time job in the NHS.
‘Life has really changed’
Instead, she picks up shorter shifts here and there on an ad-hoc basis.
She says: “Any kind of exercise is difficult for me now.
“Before, I would have done a 12-hour shift at work within Ninewells.
“But I can’t even do a four-hour shift now.
“So life has really changed.”
She is now pursuing a career change to a nail technician job, which will allow her to care for Freddie from home and manage her health issues.
Despite everything, the family remains positive.
It is hoped Freddie’s lungs will become stronger as he grows and he will be able to come off his oxygen.
And Hayley is grateful for the support the family has received from Ninewells.
She says: “We’ve slowly got to know the nurses in the paediatrics ward, because we’ve had that many stays now, and they’ve got to know us and Freddie, so how they know how to deal with him.
“I couldn’t ask for anything more there.”
And nothing seems to get Freddie down for long.
“Freddie smiles from the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed,” Hayley says.
“He is so happy and becoming such a character.
“We are going to have our hands full.”
- Is your family a little bit different? Email poppy.watson@dcthomson.co.uk to share your story.
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