Amanda Kopel has pleaded with an army of unpaid carers in Angus not to suffer in silence.
Mrs Kopel said unpaid carers should speak up if they feel they are not being listened to by medical professionals.
She told how she felt she was, at times, “bullied” about her husband’s care and spoke of her regret that it took her so long to voice her concerns.
Mrs Kopel, from Kirriemuir, was speaking at the annual general meeting of Angus Carers Centre in Arbroath which has been providing support to unpaid carers for 20 years.
She said afterwards that she was “speaking from the heart” because she is so passionate about helping those “whose voices are being ignored and not listened to”.
Mrs Kopel added that health secretary Shona Robison would deliver Frank’s Law “in 48 hours” if she had spent a day walking in the shoes of an unpaid carer.
The Scottish Government estimates that there are 759,000 unpaid carers aged 16 and over in Scotland, while Carers UK estimated the value of unpaid care in Scotland at £10.8 billion.
Mrs Kopel told the conference: “If any of you feel as though you aren’t being listened to, please do not be afraid to voice your concerns.
“I held back so many times voicing my concerns, until one day, a situation arose, and I knew that what they were suggesting for Frankie was all wrong.
“It was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak, and from that moment, the ears which had been closed, were finally opened, and they began to listen.
“It was only when I eventually began to question some of the decisions about Frankie and me, which I knew were wrong, that I felt I was being listened to.
“Some did not want to listen, as was explained to me… ‘but this is the way we have always done this or that, and it works for Mr or Mrs X down the road, and they don’t complain, so it should work for you’… well, no it doesn’t, so please listen.”
Footballer Frank played in Manchester United’s squad when they won the 1968 European Cup and was part of Dundee United’s great team of the 1970s and 80s.
He was just 59 when he was told he had dementia in 2009 and because he was under 65, he did not qualify for free personal care.
The Kopel family struggled on for six years, paying around £300 a week to ensure Frank got the care he needed at home.
He reached the qualifying age for free services 19 days before his death in April 2014.
Mrs Kopel is urging ministers to close the loophole and The Courier is backing her bid.
She said the role of caring for her “childhood sweetheart” which started in 1969 “changed dramatically from the everyday caring for my soul mate and best friend, to an adult child as the disease progressed”.
She said: ”Being a carer is a 24/7 job and until someone else has walked in those shoes it is very difficult to understand what that carer needs.
“Please do not be afraid to voice your concerns with the professionals, after all, they are there to help and we all want to be singing off the same hymn sheet.”
