Clubbing is for losers, by which, of course, I mean the young.
As a respectable if ridiculous 40-something, I would rather chew my own leg off than venture into a nightclub.
Their opening hours are all wrong for a start: 11pm is quite clearly past bedtime.
Secondly, the music is not only far too loud but more often than not, it is far too wrong as well.
Nightclubs are also filled with other people – always a negative – who are seemingly determined to make it impossible to get served at the bar, should you feel like handing over a ludicrous sum of money for a drink you don’t really need or want.
In other words, nightclubs are no fun at all and no right-thinking person over the age of 30 should pretend otherwise.
But no matter my disdain, I find the recent issues surrounding The Reading Rooms in Dundee troubling.
Police have begun limiting the numbers of people they allow into the club due to concerns about drug use on the premises.
Apparently, their interest in the club was piqued after an alleged sexual assault occurred to someone who had attended the Blackscroft club earlier in the evening.
Police Scotland say they are acting in the interests of public safety but in this case it is hard to ascertain whether this is necessary or if they are overstepping their mark.
Public safety is, of course, paramount and any allegation of sexual assault must be investigated thoroughly but the police appear to be setting a worryingly heavy-handed precedent.
If there are issues that need to be addressed at The Reading Rooms regarding drug use, then surely the club’s owners and operators must be given the chance to address them before police interfere in their ability to run a business?
The police may be right and the capacity of the nightclub should be reduced, but that is a decision for Dundee City Council’s licensing committee, not the police.
Their actions also raise troubling questions about accountability: how responsible are nightclubs, or pubs, for the actions of their patrons? When and where does that responsibility end?
The fear of many Reading Rooms regulars, and those who may have fond memories of nights out there in their dim and distant past, is that reducing capacity could cost Dundee one of its best-loved nightclubs.
It would be a big loss for Dundee were that to happen.
