A terminally ill Black Watch veteran fears he could have to end his days sooner than he wants, at an assisted suicide clinic in Switzerland.
Dave Finlayson insists he wants to die on his own terms, but said he will have to travel to the Dignatas centre while he is still able.
The 68-year-old, from Dundee, is dying of motor neurone disease (MND) and has already saved up £10,000 to pay for the controversial euthanasia service.
The divorced father-of-two sent off his medical records to the clinic last week.
Mr Finlayson spoke out about his turmoil, as he backed a new campaign to legalise assisted suicide in Scotland.
He said: “I have never feared MND. I just get on with life and I try to enjoy the time I have left.
“My only fear is not being in control of my life at the end.”
The retired lifeguard said: “I am 100% sure I don’t want to be in a paralysed vegetative state for months on end, being fed through a tube with people looking at me.”
Mr Finlayson was diagnosed in 2015 after he complained to his doctor about twinges in his legs. He initially put it down to residual damage from a motorbike accident some 30 years earlier.
He said: “My plan is that I will go over there (to Dignatas) when I know I have to and I will take the drink they use. And then that’s it, I will just die.
“But the thing is I will probably have to go to Switzerland earlier than I otherwise would do, because I will have to be fit to travel.
“So I will effectively have to die early in order to ensure that I can get access to the death that I want, because it is illegal in Scotland.”
A group of senior MSPs are forming a group to devise proposals for a new law, it emerged at the weekend.
A previous attempt to change legislation was defeated in 2015 when MSPs rejected proposals by 82 votes to 36.
The new steering group includes former Labour leader Kezia Dugdale, who said she supports the new legislation despite voting against the bill last time.
“This feels like unfinished business for the Scottish Parliament, but I’m under no illusion that there’s a lot of convincing to be done,” she said.