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Gnawing Me, Gnawing You: Perth OAP whose false teeth were found in bin pens Abba parody song

A pensioner whose false teeth were found in a bin after he lost them at a Carnoustie wedding has recorded an Abba-inspired parody song about the story.

Jack Cook, 84, has returned to his roots as an entertainer to write and perform the track with wife Aileen.

He used to write parodies for comedians in Dundee years ago – and decided to turn the story of losing his dentures at Carnoustie British Legion into the quirky tune.

Jack, from Perth, says he penned the song after the response to his tale appearing in The Courier.

84-year-old man dentures
Bar manager Caroline Rohan searched through bins for 30 minutes to find Jack Cook’s dentures.

He said: “After the article went out I got an email from one of my friends in Turkey and he said, ‘why don’t you do a parody of that, Jack?’

“I used to write parodies for some of the comedians that came around Dundee.

“I did some stuff with the likes of George Duffus because that was my job, I was an entertainer at the time so it was just a thing that I did.”

Jack was also a musician in a Dundee band coincidentally called The Couriers in 1965.

Jack (middle) pictured in 1965 during a performance with his band The Couriers.

He now uses his musical talents to entertain those closest to him.

His latest creation is a play on Abba’s hit Hasta Mañana.

Jack said: “A parody has to be kind of funny, so I had to get lines that suited, and some of the lyrics weren’t as funny.

“I didn’t like the line ‘find the missing link’ but I had to get something that rhymed with sink.

Jack aged 48, in 1985.

“Some of them were easy and some of them were harder to find because I was looking for something funny, and I wanted the twist in the tale at the end.

“It was just a laugh, we didn’t care too much, it was just done in a oner and there wasn’t any editing.”

Aileen, 72, was not going to get involved at first – but after hearing that Jack was in need of a female vocalist, she was convinced to take part.

She said: “When Jack said, ‘you’re going to have to join in’, I said, ‘no way’, and I really meant it.

Jack and wife Aileen sang the song together.

“I went through and he was trying to make his own voice sound like a female, and he really sounded like Pinky and Perky.

“I said, ‘no no no, you can’t do that, I’m going to have to do it’ – so that was that.

“We just did it as a joke really, and a bit of banter. I think I’ve got a real Dundee twang on my voice but I’m not any Cher.

“Our friends think it’s great, they think it’s wonderful, but then I paid them.”

Jack with the false teeth he lost.

Once the song was produced, Jack shared it with friends and family, but there was one person in particular he was keen to hear it – British Legion bar manager Caroline Rohan, who found his gnashers.

Jack said: “I haven’t seen Caroline since the story, but my friends who live in Carnoustie took down a copy for her.

“I made half a dozen copies for the staff and I wrote a thanks to Caroline and the staff with The Courier’s photograph of me and Caroline standing by the bin.”

Bar manager: ‘It’s made everyone laugh’

Caroline says she thinks the song is “really sweet”.

She said: “It’s made everyone laugh at some point or other with its little jokes.

“It was just exactly what happened, it was so funny and it’s nice that they did it together.

“I think a lot of people can relate to the story because I’m sure it wasn’t the first time something like that had happened.

Caroline and Jack with his dentures.

“Everyone’s been really nice about the story and making lots of little jokes, like [calling me] ‘tooth fairy’ and stuff like that.

“Everyone I know has seen it and even my friends in Ireland. People are like, ‘oh you’re that girl that found the teeth, are you?’

“It never even crossed my mind that any of this could have happened, I just thought I needed to find his teeth and that’s it.”