As our country found itself exiting the EU, your fearless correspondent found herself in Madrid. I like to think there was no connection between the two.
I was accompanied by an equally intrepid sister but we had failed to take into account the technological challenges we faced when unaccompanied by younger family members. Surely we can’t have been the only people having the following exchange, or variations on it, during an otherwise idyllic trip:
“What are you doing? Why has it taken you 40 minutes to send a picture and text?”
“Because I’m sending it on a special app the children set up for me that sends to everyone without having to pay anything. But I can’t seem to make it work …”
“Did you just say app? Who are you trying to impress? Do you even know what an app is?”
“Ooh look, some lovely pictures have come. Let’s try and send a selfie back. Do it with the park behind us. Right, press it. Well you’ll have to use your other hand. OK, I’ll press it. No, I am not going to buy one of those selfie sticks because then we’ll be like those really annoying people with selfie sticks.”
“But these pictures only show the top of our sunglasses. And no park. How do people manage to get so much in? I mean, look at the Kardashians and their massive…”
“Oh, how did we get your thumb in it but no background? We’ve got a lovely shot of those people standing behind us anyway. Shall we just send it? Do we have to text the children and find out how or do we just hit reply?”
“I bloody hate technology.”
“Me too. Shall we just go for a cocktail and some tapas?”
Some time later: “How come all the selfies we do feature massive glasses of alcohol and the tops of our sunglasses?”
“I think we maybe have the wrong kind of phones. Shall we try the local cava? And maybe those garlicky prawns?”
Later still: “I bloody love Europe.”
“Me too.”