Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

KEZIA DUGDALE: Why I’m going cold turkey on Twitter for the chance of a happy Christmas

Kezia's recipe for a happy Christmas? Stuff the turkey and scrap social media.
Kezia's recipe for a happy Christmas? Stuff the turkey and scrap social media.

My plans to have an impromptu Christmas coffee with my mum were foiled on Monday by the news that the upstairs café in the Dundee Markies was shut.

I learned this devastating news from the door staff who were once again marshalling a social distanced queue that disappeared around the corner.

Assuming the worst, I gently enquired if the café was shut because of Omicron.

“Nah, we just needed somewhere to keep all the turkeys.”

That little fable neatly sums up the fear that we’re all living with at the moment. Ready and anticipating the very worst of what might be around the corner.

I should perhaps clarify that the turkeys have already faced the worst of their fate.

They are all de-gibleted and packaged up in their cling film wrap and are not, as you might have feared, flapping and squawking their way around Gallagher Retail Park.

In truth, my biggest worry right now is that everywhere seems to have sold out of ready to roll fondant icing.

I’ve been nursing my Christmas cake with decent brandy since the tattie holidays.

The idea that I can’t finish her off in the way that she deserves is unfathomable.

So tonight I’m going to have to make my own fondant icing and I honestly could see it far enough.

Icing the Christmas cake – how hard can it be? Photo: Shutterstock.

Delia Smith will hold my hand, as she so often does with Christmas recipes, but it’s still not going to be pretty.

It doesn’t even look that hard. But there’s just something about icing sugar that 100% guarantees our kitchen is going to look like a crime scene dusted down for prints later tonight.

Christmas cheer feels in short supply this year

Everything just feels that bit harder at the moment.

As if the entire nation is just collectively fed up.

Most of us want to do our bit and follow the rules, but it’s getting harder.

In fact it feels harder now than it did in the first lockdown when the rules were so much tighter.

My tolerance levels for the decisions of others is dwindling too.

Smart people I know refusing vaccines because they think they know better.

The maskless seemingly invincible young men, and sorry it is largely young men, invading your personal space in the supermarket.

I feel like I’m just days away from becoming an overt grass, prepared to openly challenge folk whatever the consequences.

I know that’s stupid, counterproductive and thoroughly un-British.

As a species we’re supposed to just tut under our breath, glare and moan about it in a now socially distanced queue somewhere afterwards.

I’m just tired and the holidays can’t come soon enough.

I’m fortunate to have the best part of two weeks off the day job, although I’ll continue to do a bit of writing and media here and there.

But I’m also going to impose my own mini little circuit breaker. This time with social media.

I’m A Celebrity cured my addiction, so why am I doom scrolling again?

I used to be absolutely obsessed with my phone when I was a politician. It was literally never out of my hand.

When I went to the jungle for I’m a Celeb in 2017, that cycle was broken, because it was taken off for the 12 days I was in the camp.

When I was handed it back, the addiction was essentially broken.

I smugly told people I’d reset my relationship with instant news and cat videos.

But it’s crept back in slowly but sure surely over the years.

Now I’m back to my old ways of doom scrolling at night while some riveting, deeply clever TV dramas glide over my consciousness.

What a waste.

If I picked up a book every time I picked up my phone, I reckon I’d be a polymath by Easter.

Far more importantly, I’d be happier.

My Christmas gift to myself – delete Twitter and take a social media break

The problem with the endless scrolling is that all I ever see is the news, which let’s face it is rarely happy, followed by people offering their own opinions and analysis on the news, which let’s just say, rarely perks up the raw ingredients.

So I’m going to give it all up for Christmas.

I’m going to delete Twitter, Facebook and Instagram for at least a fortnight.

If I had any semblance of cool, I’d know what Tik Tok was and delete that too.

Kezia is planning a very app-free Christmas.

I suspect some might say that’s all a bit naïve.

That we can’t or shouldn’t hide from the bad news that surrounds us.

I wont fully escape it though, I’ll still watch the TV news and buy a paper. I’m just choosing to consume it differently.

I’m dialling down the 24/7 doom-mongery and dialling up the carbs, cake and festive spirit.

That’s my Christmas recipe. And for all else, there’s Delia repeats on the iPlayer.