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LYNNE HOGGAN: Kevin took his own life – I can’t help him now but I can try to help someone else

Lynne Hoggan with husband Sam and brother in law Kevin, right, whose death by suicide has underlined the need for mental health support.
Lynne Hoggan with husband Sam and brother in law Kevin, right, whose death by suicide has underlined the need for mental health support.

It’s with great sadness that we announce the death of…

It’s a sentence no family wants to have to say, or write.

Particularly when someone close to them has taken their own life.

Unfortunately this time, it was my brother in law.

It’s true – you never really know what is going on in someone’s head. And that can be a scary thing.

We all put on a brave face, on the days where we aren’t quite feeling our best or when something is bothering us.

We smile and act like everything is ok. For some, it works.

And for others it all becomes too much to handle.

Maybe we can change the outcome for somebody else

Hearing that someone you love has taken their own life sends you into a world of disbelief.

How could this have happened? And why?

So many questions and so many thoughts run through your head.

You picture it happening. You try to imagine the time leading up to the event.

What was he thinking? What was he going through in the last few moments?

Kevin took his own life in the most devastating way.

John Knight is regional director of Samaritans Scotland and a long-time volunteer for the charity. Jason Hedges.

He has left behind distraught family members who are still trying to process what happened, as well as making funeral arrangements and dealing with all the grief that hits you whenever you lose a loved one.

With a death like this, you wish you could step back in time, say something or do something to change the outcome.

We can’t. But maybe by talking about what happened it might change the outcome for someone else.

Support exists for mental health and suicide prevention

To anyone having a bad day or going through a rough time at the moment, please remember that you are not alone.

Please speak to someone, reach out, even if it’s just texting a pal to say “hey, I’m struggling”.

Or get in touch with one of the many services in Scotland that help with mental health and suicide prevention.

The charity Andy’s Man Club was set up to tackle suicide among men. Fife organisers are seen here ahead of a Dunfermline v Dundee football match in 2020. Kenny Smith Photography.

There will be someone to listen and help you.

Your life is worth living. And although things might not feel great today, tomorrow is a new day. Please speak to someone.

Ask for help – and be the one to give it

More people than ever are speaking up about mental health, but the pace of change isn’t fast enough.

There were 753 deaths by probable suicide registered in Scotland in 2021, down from 805 in 2020, but still far too many.

Men are almost three times as likely to die by suicide as women and rates were highest among the 45-54 age group.

For some people, getting out for walk, a coffee with a pal or even listening to their favourite song might be enough to change their mood.

Others need a bit more help.

And that’s totally ok.

There’s help there if you ask for it.

But let’s all work together to be more kind, to encourage people to speak out more and to help others when we can.

And remember: it’s ok not to be ok.


Samaritans provides free anonymous and confidential emotional support for people experiencing crisis and distress, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can contact Samaritans by phone on 116 123, by email jo@samaritans.org or visit www.samaritans.org/branches to find your nearest branch.


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