I have mixed feelings about Christmas. Part of me thinks it should only happen every fourth year, like the Olympics and World Cup.
Another part of me thinks it shouldn’t happen at all — a feeling intensified by my fear of hearing Cliff Richard songs in shops.
It is the basic English language errors that drain the festive spirit. For a start, I don’t like the word “Christmas” being shortened to Xmas. Why does it need to be shortened at all? My mother-in-law is named Christina and, unless she has particularly misbehaved, I almost never call her Xtina.
Christmas cards are another potential problem. I have seen several that wish seasons greetings instead of season’s greetings, and had to write to correct a friend who inserted an apostrophe in “best wishes from the Paterson’s”. He didn’t answer this helpful note, I have no idea why.
And let’s have some clarity over Brussels sprouts. Far too many people drop the s from Brussels and call them simply Brussel sprouts. This is wrong. Further, supermarket signwriters routinely fail to capitalise the B, which is also upsetting, or do capitalise the s, which is unforgivable. It is upper-case B, lower-case s. Please remember that.
Speaking of capitals, Advent (in Advent calendar) takes a capital. Advent is a proper noun, according to Christian theology. An advent (lower case) is the arrival of a notable person or thing, not necessarily another (or the same one again) messiah.
The Nativity (initial capital) refers to the birth of Mr J. Christ esquire, whereas a nativity (without initial capital) is any old Tom, Dick or Harry’s birth. We all had a nativity, although most of us are still awaiting the arrival of three wise men.
Eggnog does not require a hyphen in the middle, nor is it two words. Cinnamon too often has an n dropped or an m added, and there is a wholly regrettable tendency towards pretending that “Christmassy” is a real word.
As for the tortured pronunciations…good grief. Among words regularly mangled during the festive period are: Wenceslas, magi, noel, and wassail.
However, this is, I must concede, one of the few times when “hark”, a venerable old word, is used — even if only in a solitary carol.
I’d admit that the spirit of Christmas, usually termed “good will to all men”, is a laudable idea. Although exceptions can be made for the type of people who can’t spell or who misuse apostrophes.
Word of the week
Embus (verb)
To go on, or take on board, a bus. EG: “You can embus Cliff Richard, and let him off in Timbuktu.”
Read the latest Oh my word! every Saturday in The Courier. Contact me at sfinan@dctmedia.co.uk
