Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

Why does the chicken cross the road?

I was intrigued to read about a bed and breakfast establishment in Blairgowrie which had puts its chickens in high-visibility jackets to protect them when they crossed the road.

This seems a sensible measure. I have argued before, from scientific observation, that chickens are not very bright, which is hardly surprising as they have very small heads.

A small head generally indicates a small brain, so there is no point in looking for reasoning from the chickens as to why they cross the road. Best answer they could come up with, I guess, might be: because it is there.

Humans generally cross the road to buy a pie or avoid someone who might frighten them by saying hello, but chickens just do it because it is something to do. But, of course, being too dim to understand the Green Cross Code, they run the risk of being run over.

I continue to miss the hens I looked after for friends recently. They were not stimulating company, true, and I know that they loved not me but the vittles that I brought.

But, still, they were living creatures that were a part of my life. My friends sent me pictures of them last week, and I was able to pore over these for seven or eight contented hours.

I also requested a picture of the lawn tractor, upon whose noble seat I experienced some of the happiest moments in what I will confess has been a pretty sheltered life.

Driving along in the open air was to me like being in a sports car, but even better as one bumped along on grass rather than being stuck on a fume-filled road behind a man in a cap doing 20mph in his daft wee hatchback.

Talking of daft – and, indeed, wee – I continue to look after the cats here at Swanky Towers, abode of my much-travelled friends who send me back pictures of sunny climes as I wilt under Scotland’s grey skies.

One of the cats has problems with his thyroid, so I have to bung cream in his lug, which involves me donning rubber gloves and having an MMA bout with the moggie under advisement. Needless to say, I always come off worst (he has a great right hook).

And, of course, I don’t get any thanks for it, even though the cream has brought him back to his fighting weight and made him healthy again.

Cats are entirely mercenary beasts and as greedy as the mouth of Hell. They don’t even lay eggs. I know. I’ve looked. All they do is poop in the flower beds.

And, here, they cross the road to the railway embankment in the hope of catching and torturing small beasts enjoying hitherto their first summer that also turns out, alas, to be their last.

However, while I consider cats a deplorable species, I cannot help but like the individuals that swim into my ken, ken? Bertie in particular makes me laugh when he pokes his face into mine when I am trying to do push-ups, thereby forcing me to abandon the exercise, for which I am always grateful.

In the meantime, it’s time for me to cross the road for my lunchtime trip to the bakery. Where’s my high-visibility jacket?


Photo and video courtesy of Glenshieling House bed and breakfast