Jamie Ness sat in his car outside Dens Park as well-wishing messages pinged on his phone with news of his Dundee departure breaking.
Friends believed the departure from Dark Blues last October would hit Ness hard.
But he felt an enormous feeling of relief inside.
Ness didn’t hate his time at Dundee. Far from it.
As Ness tuned into a Jonny Wilkinson podcast on anxiety in sport, he realised that he’d been suffering from similar mental health issues as the former England rugby World Cup winner.
Ness trained in isolation, trying to recover from a calf injury, as Covid-19 rules prevented him from mixing with the Dundee squad.
Ness hadn’t fallen out of love with the game.
But he HAD fallen out of love with being prevented from playing.
And the former Rangers star took time out to seek counselling before signing for Forfar last month.
“The day I left Dundee was a very strange feeling,” said Ness.
“I had this intense feeling of relief. It was nothing against Dundee. I have no issue with them.
“It didn’t work out because of injuries and the Covid restrictions.
“I was going into the club on my own every day. I didn’t feel part of the group.
Jamie Ness ‘inspired’ by Jonny Wilkinson
“All of me, in every moment.”
Out tomorrow, this weeks #HighPerformancePodcast guest is Jonny Wilkinson.
We don’t talk rugby, we don’t talk sport…we talk LIFE!Happiness, passion, pain, anxiety, being present, living in the now.
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— Jake Humphrey 💙 (@mrjakehumphrey) September 20, 2020
“A week before I left Dundee, I listened to a Jonny Wilkinson podcast on anxiety in sport.
“I can relate to all the things he said in the podcast and realise I’ve been feeling the same way for the last four or five years
“After I left Dundee, I took a month away from football. I spent time with my family and switched off.
“I decided I needed to seek professional help and I booked on a six session course with a counsellor down south.
“The counselling was done over Zoom. It has made an enormous impact on me.
“If I ever need it, I can go back to it.”
Ness has returned to the game with renewed determination.
Days after joining Forfar, he was labelled a ‘Premiership class’ player by Station Park boss Gary Irvine.
And he has the CV to match that lofty statement.
Ness netted a stunning strike for Rangers in an Old Firm Scottish Cup clash with Celtic, aged just 19.
He spent nine years in England, with Stoke City, Leyton Orient, Crewe Alexandra, Scunthorpe United and Plymouth Argyle.
He trained with Motherwell in the summer before signing for former Dens Park coach Irvine.
Ness will now cherish the time he spends with wife Heather and kids Molly, Emily and David.
“I feel fit and ready to go for Forfar,” added Ness. “I’ve had seven weeks of intense training at Motherwell.
“It’s been a year since I properly played but I’ll get sharper with every game.
“I’m going to enjoy spending time with my family.”
