Dundee star Simon Murray says becoming more aware of his son’s autism has made him a better father and also a better footballer.
Murray’s six-year-old son Novah was diagnosed when family began noticing signs of autism around 18 months of age.
Since then focus shifted completely to family first and a move to hometown club Dundee has helped immeasurably both off and on the pitch.
At Dens Park, Murray is chasing the Scottish Premiership’s top scorer award this season and has been touted for a possible Scotland call-up.
As part of Autism Acceptance Month, the Dundee striker sat down with PFA Scotland and admits it’s been a huge learning curve for him.
“I knew nothing, absolutely zero,” Murray admits.
“When you get to know your son and pick up on things, it’s a total learning curve.
“For us it was 18 months when we started seeing little things.
“From an early age he wasn’t developing words, he was non-verbal at a point.
“Obviously frustration built up within himself so getting to know him, getting to know what he wanted to do, whether food or a different activity, it was difficult.
“We have adapted to learn to get over these hurdles as well.
“That was the most difficult thing but as he’s developing and getting older he’s coming on more and more each month which is good to see.”
‘Unpredictable’
He added: “One thing to describe it is unpredictable.
“In terms of how he is going to be on different days, what triggers him to have little off-days and meltdowns.
“Maybe in situations where noise or light or having unfamiliar people around which can trigger that.
“It’s just taking it at his pace, fitting things around his life and making him as comfortable as possible.
“But if you knew Novah you’d know how amazing he is.
“It brings out the best in you.
“You learn to be a better father and give him the full focus.
“Within football it has really helped me be a better person, concentrating on our lifestyle which helps me and helps Novah but also helps your football.
“Dealing with off-field stuff and coming into football, it can be an outlet for you.
“But also on the flipside, the reason I do it is for him and for my family.
“You obviously want him to grow up and be proud of you.
“Just living a good lifestyle helps him but turns out it also helps you on the pitch as well.”
‘Move to Dundee has made my son happier’
Most important has been Murray’s change of clubs last summer.
After a goal-laden season at Ross County, the long commute up to the Highlands took its toll.
The striker had the option to join former side Hibs once more but his boyhood club were calling – and with it a daily commute measured in mere minutes rather than hours.
“It’s been a great help since I moved back to Dundee,” Murray said.
“I’m obviously local and it was difficult when I was at Ross County, there was a lot of travelling and I couldn’t be there to support him seven days a week.
“Ross County were amazing with me while I was there and they helped me as much as they could.
“I’ll always be grateful for that.
“But being back home means I am able to assist my wife with school drop-offs and pick-ups to take that burden off her.
“It’s been good to be back and to have every day with him as well.
“We weren’t able to manage and it was giving him so much stress and you could tell how anxious he was.
“I’ve been here [at Dundee] over the past season and I can see just how much more happy he is, how much he has grown, he’s enjoying going to school and spending time with me at night.
“It’s great to see. Hopefully he can just keep learning and being the happy wee boy that he is.”
Confidence
Murray wants to see football do more to help fans or families dealing with autism by installing sensory rooms and providing things like speedy turnstile options.
“There definitely is a lot of awareness in football but there is a lot more we can do as clubs,” he added.
“On the spectrum there are a wide variety of things but I think looking at the overall situations and making games, for instance, just easier for autistic people to attend.
“Or different events that are more suited for sensory issues.
“There are so many people out there that, for whatever reason in their life, that they can’t get to games.
“Maybe it’s the parents feel anxious that they don’t want to take their kids that are affected by noise and stuff like that.
“The parent might miss out on [watching] the team they’ve supported their whole life and the kid doesn’t get to experience football, which could be something in their life they grow to love and fills them with confidence.
“Getting that sort of safe setting would be amazing.”
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