Until recently, whenever I thought of the Netherlands I thought of tulips, flat countryside and Amsterdam, writes William Lockwood. Occasionally I thought about the Cruyff turn. However I was vaguely aware of a nation that extended beyond that, so when the chance came up to see some more of it I grabbed it.
DFDS Seaways offers daily crossings from Newcastle to the idiosyncratically-spelled IJmuiden, 20-odd miles down the coast from Amsterdam.
The 16-hour crossing allows a chance to relax, gorge oneself on buffet meals and generally enjoy the feeling of pottering about on the North Sea. The ferries are fully girt with cinemas, bars and nightclubs, with cabins running up to Commodore Deluxe with its own executive lounge on the bow, where the pastries flow like wine.
DFDS ferries run on Central European Time, which is an hour ahead of what we’re used to. This allows a gentle transition to Dutch time and it is surprising how refreshed one can feel after a night in a bunk.
And the breakfasts… oh, the breakfasts. Even for a self-proclaimed connoisseur of the most important meal of the day, this was an eye-opening experience.
I skipped among sagging heaps of bacon, succulent piles of watermelon and steaming vats of coffee like Maria von Trapp in the hills of Austria, and enjoyed eating to excess so much that I was secretly a bit disappointed to arrive at IJmuiden.
Upon alighting, blinking in the unfamiliar Dutch sun, we were met by redoubtable driver Angelica. Her combination of humour, knowledge and expert coach-handling at speed made the travelling, which could have been a chore, an enjoyable feature of the trip.Flat of the landOur first journey was to the Floriade flower show near Venlo, in the south-east of the country.
Pleasingly, this was a chance to confirm one of my cherished preconceptions about Holland; it really is very flat. Still, it came as a shock to someone used to the violent undulations of Dundee. Trees lined the motorways as houses, farms and fields of virginal asparagus (more of which later) stretched far into the distance.
We’d barely perfected the pronunciation of IJmuiden (Eye-mouwden) when we arrived at the Floriade.
It is a horticultural expo held in the Netherlands once every 10 years and visitors flock to it from around the world. The scale of it is incredible: its 66 hectares of displays, theatres and activities will welcome two million visitors from April to October. It even has its own cable car system.
Although in this miser’s opinion the Floriade’s greatest strength was the value of its food and drink, my flower-loving companion went into raptures when we discovered the Villa Flora, Europe’s largest indoor flower exhibition.
It holds some of the world’s most singular and beautiful orchids, like horticulture as created by Salvador Dali, and must be seen to be believed.
Having speed-walked around most of the Floriade by the end of the day, we were ready to decamp to our hotel.
The drive presented some time to sleep off the heat of the day and for Angelica to considerately whisper nuggets of historical interest over the speaker system to the semi-conscious.
The Hotel Willibrordhaeghe in Deurne used to be a convent and retains that unusual architecture but with a bright, modern interior. The beds are comfy, the bathrooms are sparkling and there’s even BBC1 and 2 on TV for weaklings who become homesick easily.
We were becoming used to Dutch people being friendly and gregarious, with excellent English and the hotel staff exceeded those expectations. They even went the extra mile when my darling lady-partner forgot her jacket (which was, of course, my fault), and posted it back to the UK free of charge.
Dinner was excellent (with one menu comprised totally of asparagus, a national speciality) and, in what was becoming a gluttonous motif, I had to be dragged bodily from the breakfast buffet by Angelica to move on to our next port of call.Orange crushHet Loo Paleis, near Apeldoorn in the centre of the country, is preserved to show how the Dutch royal family would have lived 300 years ago.
It is full of ancient tomes, four-poster beds and paintings of the House of Orange (which suggest that the royal hierarchy is decided by how majestically moustachioed each man is). It is genuinely fascinating, but the jewel in the palace’s crown is its grounds.
They are meticulously maintained and bursting with colour and show the Floriade how outdoor gardens should be presented.
Wandering past beds of tulips (another crass stereotype satisfyingly ticked off) and perching on the edge of gurgling fountains in 30C heat was worth the 12 ticket price alone.
After being introduced to the joys of sparkling iced tea, it was time to return to the loving embrace of Angelica and her coach for the journey back to IJmuiden.
Getting stuck back into a buffet dinner (still brilliant) while chugging out to sea offered a chance to reflect on the previous couple of days.
The idea of package holidays may not be to everyone’s taste, but they offer the chance to experience a country’s history and culture without the stress of organising anything, and for a reasonable price.
These mini-breaks can be taken over a long weekend and even the ferry and coach trips become part of the holiday. Just make sure you request Angelica when you go.
For more information about DFDS Seaways” Floriade trips go here. The trips cost from £223 per person, which includes two nights onboard ship, one night in a hotel, coach transfers, Floriade tickets and a visit to another attraction. People can take their own car at any time, adding the Floriade tickets when they buy their ferry crossing. Car and two passengers cost from £296 return, or £149 one way. DFDS Seaways also does a range of two-night mini cruises and breaks including a hotel stay in Holland, Belgium and Germany.