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‘By the end, she didn’t recognise me’: the toll of dementia and importance of getting help early

‘By the end, she didn’t recognise me’: the toll of dementia and importance of getting help early

The late wife of a former deputy lieutenant of Angus battled with dementia for nine years. As The Courier’s series on the disease concludes, George Mathieson tells Rob McLaren about their traumatic experience.

George Mathieson lost his wife Shirley to cancer in September this year after more than 50 years of marriage.

She was diagnosed with dementia in 2004 and her final years were extremely difficult.

The retired solicitor is calling on people to seek early medical help if they suspect a loved one may have the condition.

George, who served as a deputy lieutenant of Angus for 30 years, said: “In Britain it is thought that around 600,000 people have dementia but only half have been diagnosed.

“Some people can be very reluctant to seek advice but I found the help that specialists can give for coping with the condition invaluable.

“Up until her diagnosis Shirley had been in full health and a very active person. She was an artist and doing a lot of work in the community and for the National Trust.

“I noticed that she was forgetting little things and that something wasn’t right. We went to her GP and then a specialist, who diagnosed her.

“She was given advice and medication which allowed her to continue to live a full life for three or four years after her diagnosis.

“The importance of seeking early medical help can not be understated.

“Dementia doesn’t kill people, but it can bring on other problems which we tried to delay for as long as possible.”

George, 81, is a former chairman of law firm Thorntons and was awarded a CBE after serving as a colonel in the TA and appointed as a Personal Aide-de-Camp to the Queen.

He became his wife’s full-time carer and took on the running of his home in Colliston near Arbroath.

He said it was “very difficult” seeing his wife, who worked as a physiotherapist, struggle with dementia and gradually deteriorating.

“I had to keep a close watch on her at all times and ran the household, doing all the cooking and cleaning.

“She was fully aware of having the problem and she gradually stopped going to gatherings because she felt that people were always looking at her, even though they weren’t.

“I had to dress her and she got very angry and uptight with me and she would swear at me, something she had never done before in our married life, which just shows how the disease can affect the mind.

“I cared for her as long as I could and was able to cope pretty well looking after her until earlier this year, when she went into Stracathro Hospital.

“It was very difficult seeing her deteriorate. I took our spaniel to see her in hospital who gave her great appreciation when he saw her, but she didn’t recognise the dog. By the end, she didn’t recognise me.”

Mr Mathieson is hopeful that a cure can be found for the disease thanks to the research projects taking place all over the world.

He added: “Dementia is a complaint for which there is no known cause or cure.

“There are around 100 universities in the UK, and more around the world, that are working on projects trying to find the cause and cure for Alzheimer’s disease.

“It is my sincere hope that there will be a breakthrough soon as it is a ghastly disease.”