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‘The worst thing is not knowing’ Perthshire mother describes the pain of missing loved ones

Kim Cessford, Courier - 02.02.12 - pictured is Elizabeth Templeton at home, Milton of Dalcapon Farmhouse for Missing Persons piece by Jack McKewon her son Aln went missing several years ago
Kim Cessford, Courier - 02.02.12 - pictured is Elizabeth Templeton at home, Milton of Dalcapon Farmhouse for Missing Persons piece by Jack McKewon her son Aln went missing several years ago

In 2006, Pitlochry couple Elizabeth and Douglas Templeton’s son Alan disappeared without trace. Theirs is one of the cases highlighted in a BBC documentary about missing people. Alan’s mother tells Jack McKeown why she decided to take part in The Missing.

“I have to fight myself not to use ‘was’ instead of ‘is’.”

Twelve words on the grammar of speaking about a son whose fate is still unknown is the most unintentionally heartbreaking insight Elisabeth Templeton gives into what it’s like going to bed each night not knowing if her son is alive or dead.

Over five years after Alan Templeton disappeared, Elizabeth says the pain hasn’t diminished.

“He was in Newhaven the day before,” she says. “The worst possibility is that he went back there the next day, or somewhere along the Forth Coast, and just walked into the water. His body would have gone into the North Sea.”

Theologians Elizabeth and Douglas met at New College in Edinburgh, and now live near Pitlochry. Their middle child, Alan, wanted to become a filmmaker after a media studies degree. Like many young people who want to work in an industry that’s hard to break into, he became slightly shiftless when he couldn’t get work making films.

After a variety of jobs in Scotland, he moved to Paris where his bilingual sister Kirsten lives and works and picked up work in an Irish bar. After a couple of years, however, he began to show signs of depression and returned to Scotland.

“He seemed to be getting a bit better,” Elizabeth continues. “After about a month at our house he said he wanted to go to Edinburgh to find a flat and look for work.”

Alan picked up bar work, and sofa-surfed, staying with his many friends in Edinburgh and moving on regularly. “He was doing okay,” his mother says. “We talked to him on the phone every other day and saw him about once a week.”

Then, on the weekend of November 26 2006, Alan vanished. “He was due to meet a friend off the train to watch the rugby, and had a shift in the pub as well,” says Elizabeth. “But he didn’t turn up for either. He did meet his friend that evening though he told him he’d been at Newhaven during the day and he went to the pub to apologise for missing his shift.”

The next morning Alan and a flatmate went to buy food. When they left the supermarket he told his friend: “You take the rolls home and I’ll see you later.” As far as anyone has been able to establish, those were Alan’s last recorded words. He was 26 when he disappeared.

Alan missed a doctor’s appointment on Monday and by Tuesday, when he hadn’t gone into work, his parents phoned the police.

“I now know the police response can be varied when it comes to missing persons, but with Alan they were fantastic,” Elizabeth says. “They did everything they could, didn’t leave a stone unturned. Both Edinburgh and Perth forces were involved and our contact, Detective Inspector Marshall McKay at Perth, was incredible.

“They searched our house and found his passport and address book. They checked email and phone logs, they called all his friends and family. They got in touch with the French police in Paris and with Interpol. And they took DNA swabs of the house, myself and Douglas. They even set up a billboard in the west end of Edinburgh near where he worked.”

Despite their best efforts, Alan was never traced. Fifteen months after his disappearance, police said that although the case remained open, all lines of enquiry were exhausted and they were winding down the investigation.

“The worst, most frustrating thing is not knowing what happened,” Elizabeth says. “The upside is that I could come home one day and find him sitting in the kitchen. But if we knew he was dead we could grieve properly.”

In their desperation, Elizabeth and Douglas tried everything. “We phoned hospitals and health boards up and down the land. It’s not something that comes naturally to us but we even tried a couple of mystics that were recommended by friends.”

Elizabeth says she tries to hold on to her best memories of Alan.

“When I think of Alan the words in my head and heart are: sunny, gregarious, outgoing. But he was also a very sensitive thoughtful person. For us the greatest support has been local people. People don’t cross the road when they see us. Our local librarian or the woman in Ballinluig Post Office will say: ‘I don’t suppose you’ve heard any news?'”

Elizabeth features in an ArtWorks Scotland documentary on BBC Two Scotland on February 6. The Missing is inspired by Andrew O’Hagan’s book of the same title, which he wrote in the wake of the Fred West murders coming to light. His novel was turned into a National Theatre of Scotland production and inspired a work by artist Graham Fagen.

Elizabeth agreed to take part in the documentary to highlight the work done by Missing People. She’s a named family representative member for the charity, and interacts with the media to highlight its cause.

Becoming involved with Missing People is one of the very few ways Elizabeth has found to help cope with the loss of her son.

“I met another woman whose son was three years younger than Alan but who went missing around the same time. It was such a relief to say: ‘I think he might be dead.’ It was the first time I’d vocalised that thought.

“If you say it, you feel like you’re letting the team down. But I said it, and she said it, and I think we both felt a sense of release. That kind of contact with people who’ve been through the same thing is very precious to me.”The Missing is on BBC Two Scotland tonight (February 6) from 9-10pm. If someone close to you is missing and you want help, contact Missing People at missingpeople.org.uk or freephone 0500 700 700.