Regular readers of Coming Up will probably be aware we don’t tend to go to glitzy award bashes too often. Or at all, in fact.
We are firmly of the ‘face-pressed-against-glass, hoping for a genuine talent to throw us a vol-au-vent or glass of fizzy pop’ class of worker.
But were Coming Up to make it to an awards ceremony, we sincerely hope it will be like the Scottish Hair and Beauty Awards.
The beauty industry is, of course, well known for its feistiness. Throw in a cocktail (or several) of alcohol and presentational ineptitude though and you’re asking for trouble.
While black tie events have descended into chaos before of course, few can have involved a mooning stage-goer, a handbag wielding, headbutting presenter and the phrase “Get off my stage or I’ll bang your pus.”
There’s more. But you’ll need to get Wednesday’s Courier for the rest.
You’ll also be able to catch up with the young (and not so young) denizens of Tayside and Fife who made their screaming way en masse, to Murrayfield to see their 1 Direction heroes.
Coming the other way was First Minister Alex Salmond who eschewed the best night ever for an exclusive sit down with our politics man, Kieran Andrews.
We catch up with footballer Jordan Moore to hear the shocking tale of his skin cancer diagnosis.
And we meet a group of Perth bathroom fitters planning a gruelling charity hike involving a bath and Britain’s highest peak.
Get Wednesday’s potentially award-winning – not that Coming Up will be involved if it is – edition, either from the shops or the magic of t’internet