It would help if you hum the haunting theme tune to Grand Designs from this point.
Now, picture a group of fresh-faced enthusiasts, happily explaining to Kevin McCloud their “vision” for a “groundbreaking” and “revolutionary” new “concept construction”.
It has been painstakingly designed by top architectural boffins from around the world.
The bespoke sourced materials are so easy to put up, you may as well just throw them in the air and they will fall neatly into place.
They will be ready to move in to this “state-of-the-art” superstructure within a couple of months.
What could possibly go wrong?
Unfortunately we’re transposing this far from uncommon opening for Grand Designs to Dundee and the predictably nave bunch are the team behind the V&A.
They’re currently in the “living in a caravan in the middle of winter with one full-time project managing and the other heavily pregnant” stage of the episode.
Any minute now, McCloud will be turning up to give a wry sideways smirk to camera and ask, “is there anything you would have done differently?”
That, and many other questions, have been out to the V&A backers when news emerged that the ambitious project has gone £31 million over budget and will be (at least) 18 months late.
Saturday’s Courier examines why the scheme has gone so badly awry and ponders whether it can be pulled back from the brink.
Grim news for Dundee but it could be perfectly counter-balanced by restoration to the summit of the marmalade world.
Ambitious makers want to conserve (or is it preserve?) the city’s place in jam-making history. See Saturday’s Courier for more.
Marmalade wasn’t on the menu for our man in St Andrews but there were a host of other delicacies for him to try when he finally secured a table at Rocca Restaurant to sample the Masterchef-winning spread laid on by chef Jamie Scott.
Find out what he made of it all (hopefully he’s not actually back yet and may have gorged himself into a stupor).
Nearby, these young wags are proving an internet sensation with their golfing prowess.
And we also hear from a top boffin on why treating criminals to fly fishing lessons could stop terrorism.
And our Weekend magazine focuses on the shock tactics used by the emergency services to save young lives on the roads.
For all this and so much more see Saturday’s Courier or try our digital edition.