Why doesn’t Father Christmas get dirty going down all those chimneys?
Why, he’s had his flue jab of course.
That, in my humblest of humble opinions, is a Christmas cracker.
The reason for Coming Up Corner’s (early) seasonal tomfoolery is that we have a very nice story about the forthcoming festivities.
Our reporter spent the afternoon at a Christmas tree farm the idea for a good story duly took root and she ended up branching out, with the result we have a wonderful array of arboreal delights for you to enjoy.
Lovely stuff.
On a slightly more sinister note, are men or women better killers?
We hear from the retired Colonel who believes women should be kept away from frontline combat roles.
They aren’t aggressive enough, he said (obviously doesn’t know the kind of women I know).
The Courier took to the streets to find out what the fairer sex thought about such claims (not a lot, it transpired).
In fact, one lady told us and I quote “We’d make better killers. Women can be more vicious, sneakier too. Men just whinge. They talk tough but they just crumble.”
Bet the Colonel would love to meet her on a dark night…
Meanwhile, Dundee Jazz Festival is underway.
Hurrah.
We look ahead to some of the top highlights on offer.
Nice.
Meanwhile, the ladies of Courier Country are in for one heck of a treat this winter.
Men across the region are set to ditch their razors for a whole month.
Beards will, as you can perhaps very well imagine, be the order of the day.
And the reason for this hirsute pursuit?
Well, other than the pleasure of all our lady folk (ahem) it’s for charity.
Beards for Bairns, indeed. It’s all going to help raise funds for Archie’s proposed new Tayside children’s hospital (in conjunction with the Courier. I’m legally contracted to say that. Actually I’m not, I just thought I would throw it in there because we are jolly happy to be involved).
How can you join the droves prepared to look ridiculous (apologies to all those with beards currently you look great, honest)? Find out in your fabulous Thursday edition.
It is going to be a cracking Courier. Don’t miss it, or you may quite literally end up kicking yourself in utter rage. And that’s a horribly painful and altogether unedifying experience. Believe me, I know. If you won’t take print, why not try our digital edition?