The incy-wincy spider is longer incy. Or indeed wincy. It’s ruddy massive.
That’s right, a veritable invasion of monstrous arachnids has hit Scotland.
Courier Country is not immune. Far from it. They are everywhere. But why? Why dammit?
Find out in your midweek paper (which, after reading, you can use to whack errant insects. Or create a funnel which can then be utilised as a kind of vessel to offer spiders safe passage to your window or front door, where they can then be offered a fresh chance of a new life in the great outdoors).
Still on an animal theme (please direct letters about spiders not being animals direct to pedant’s corner, care of The Courier) and we have spent the day moose hunting.
That’s right, The Courier looked out its deer-stalker and magnifying glass and headed for the hills, hot on the trail of lovelorn Hercules.
Did we find the moose on the loose without a hoose?
Only Wednesday’s Courier has the answer. And quite frankly I don’t think it’s the kind of question you want to be carrying around with you for the rest of your life.
The old Ryder Cup draws inexorably closer. We have quite literally all the very latest from the luscious fairways and finely manicured greens of Gleneagles as some of the best players in the world get into the swing of things ahead of this week’s match. GEDDIN THE HOLE (and so on and so forth).
If politics is your thing then, golly, midweek readers will not be disappointed. Not in any way shape or form. Miliband wants ten years in power to transform Britain (that’s right, just the ten. He’s not greedy).
Meanwhile, Salmond is really quite certain 16 and 17 year-olds should get the vote. I mean why the heck not? So he said (or something rather like that anyway) at Holyrood on Wednesday.
We have all the prose you could possibly want following yet another busy day for our political editor Kieran Andrews (bet he thought he’d get a wee break after last week too…).
If there’s one thing I love it’s a good Wednesday. And this Wednesday is going to be really good. And that’s a cast iron promise*. Please do be sure to pick up Wednesday’s Courier or why not try our digital edition?
*legal note – guarantee only applies to Courier readers, not transferable to any other day, alternative Wednesdays may vary, no refund in case of dispute.