Coming Up detests queues.
It is a creature that needs its space and is not fond of being pressed up against a burly other, breathing in fag smoke and body odour while desperately suppressing a rising gag reflex and temper.
Imagine its horror than, when it pitched up to collect a set of tickets for this year’s Scottish Cup Final.
Queues stretching as far as the eye could see; a heaving mass of humanity desperate to snap up gold-dust briefs for the Dundee United v St Johnstone showdown.
Naturally, Coming Up turned tail and fled to the safety of Courier Towers but, thankfully for the final, others didn’t and thousands of tickets have now been sold.
We bring the full story from Tannadice and McDiarmid Park in Tuesday’s Courier.
Another crowd of which Coming Up will almost certainly not be a part is that which will flock to Glasgow for Radio 1’s Big Weekend.
Given the demographic One Direction was one of several acts announced by the organisers there is no loss on either side.
Elsewhere in a vintage edition of The Courier, we describe how a remarkable piece of military memorabilia has been returned to the country.
A book handled by no less than 75 winners of the Victoria Cross has arrived in Angus. You’ll get the who’s, why’s and wherefore’s in The Courier.
You’ll also read about how one courageous Arbroath man’s campaigning has led to a change in Scottish Government policy and can read an explosive exclusive about abuse allegations in a Dundee school.
Fife’s front has all the details on a particularly horrific crime and you can also find out who Double Sandy is, and why he’s in the news.
For all this and so much more see Tuesday’s Courier or if, like Coming Up, you don’t fancy the queues try our digital edition.