Sad news but it’s “official” predicting death is better than breaking news stories.
Yes, newspaper reporter the job I adored for a decade is the worst in the world.
Completely ignoring the subjective nature of such matters, CareerCast.com has conclusively proven that being a news reporter is as bad as it gets. Worse than working as a bricklayer, paralegal assistant or dishwasher.
Even worse than being a lumberjack, which is second bottom of the exhaustive, if faintly ridiculous, list.
Before I reached the heady heights (ahem) of news editor I plied my trade as a reporter and I can confirm, with every bit as much certainty as this new survey claims it is the worst, that it is the best job in the world.
Jobs were apparently ordered according to five criteria: physical demands, income, stress, work environment and hiring outlook.
Those behind the survey wonder how many of them have done the jobs they rated? claimed long hours, low salaries and dwindling hiring and career progression meant reporter could be fairly placed at the bottom of the desirable career ladder.
No mention of job satisfaction then.
No mention of the thrill of breaking a front-page story.
No mention of uncovering some wrongdoing and seeing it put right as a result.
No mention, for example, of helping the family of a disabled child finally access the crucial, life-changing adapted accommodation their local authority has wrongly denied them for years.
For me, being an actuary interpreting statistics in a bid to determine the probability of accidents, sickness and deaths would be about as close to living the nightmare as I could come.
No surprise, then, to find it top of the list of great jobs.
So that’s it. We live in a world where predicting death is better than breaking the big stories of the day.
To prove that journalism is, in fact, the greatest game in the world I considered several options.
The Watergate story, the uncovering of Savile’s shocking catalogue of sex abuse, the Arab spring, the capture of Osama bin Laden … there have been many unforgettable stories that have shaped the news agenda.
However, I present as evidence of the greatness of my career choice one rather more simple, prosaic tale.Hat’s the way we do itAnd here it is. From the pages of The Courier, circa 1987, I present you with the famous headline: “Lost hat is found”.
The story that follows is barely less astonishing or revelatory than any of the lofty tales mentioned above. It recounted the poor unfortunate tale of a man who, while on an apparently perfectly innocent visit to the Perthshire game fair, became separated from his “distinctive” peaked cap. Sad enough, but the tragedy and drama was ramped up a notch with the revelation that the headgear was adorned with “several badges” (cue sharp intake of pained breath).
Truly a story of everyday life gone awry with almost unimaginable heartbreak as a result.
However, as the clever headline suggested, the potentially horrible story was not without a happy twist. Yes, after an appeal over the sound system the hat was found.
And yet, unbelievably, there was yet more drama. The appeal was unsuccessful with the result that the lost hat, despite being found, remained separate from its presumably inconsolable owner.
One can only imagine he had headed for home straight after losing the hat, unable to continue with day-to-day frivolities in the face of such personal loss.
However, the story having featured in the pages of The Courier, our reporter could sleep soundly, knowing he had done all he could to reunite man with cap.
So my question is quite simple, and is it this.
What kind of job offers you such a rare opportunity to bring happiness to lives ripped asunder by tragedy?
Whether our appeal to the bare-headed bereaved succeeded is not known (it was well before my time) but we had taken action.
And that feels good.
Low wages yes.
Long hours check.
Dubious future prospects perhaps.
But worst job in the world? Never.
Of course, putting news reporter bottom of the list was always going to be a rather cunning way to gain some welcome publicity.
On reflection perhaps it should have been second bottom. Just ahead of ludicrous survey compiler…