There are, of course, plenty of upsides to taking a cheeky week’s holiday in the sun when you are no longer tied to going away in school holidays. These are mainly (a) You do not have to pay the massive markup for flights and hotels during school holiday dates and (b) There are very few children around.
However, as Mr P and myself have been discovering this week, there are also downsides. These are mainly (a) Being surrounded by elderly people and (b) Realising we probably count as elderly, too, what with having a grown-up child and all.
As my regular reader will remember, Mr P’s holiday philosophy tends towards the antisocial: “I have to talk to people all the time at work. I don’t see why I should have to do it on holiday” so we generally avoid our fellow guests. This time, though, we find ourselves staring openly, marvelling at the amount of alcohol these seniors are putting away.
Mr P and myself are no slouches in this department but our eyes were out on stalks on the first morning we turned up for breakfast in the hotel to see ice buckets next to the buffet containing bottles of Champagne and wine.
We were even more agog to notice most of the guests were enjoying a glass of fizz with their dippy eggs. Even I draw the line at alcohol with breakfast – except for Christmas Day, of course, when it is only polite to have a buck’s fizz at 11am.
However, it gives us something to aim for and we are now looking forward to spending our twilight years in a permanently sozzled state, soaking up the sun and tutting loudly whenever we hear the sound of children enjoying themselves.
This will no doubt be a relief to The Student, as she keeps telling us she is putting our names down for a retirement living development near us every time we do or say anything that embarrasses her (quite often).
Although I am not sure they would have us, anyway. Too antisocial.