When a call came to ask if I’d appear on Lorraine on ITV1 I was very excited.
Having not been on the show for a few years – since I started travelling the country for Homes Under The Hammer – I’ve missed it for many reasons.
One reason being the host, of course, adopted Dundonian Lorraine Kelly, who makes presenting look so easy because she’s so good.
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Another is the team, whom I enjoyed seeing weekly on the decade-plus I worked there, covering showbiz and paper reviews.
Also, I thought it would be good to dip a toe into showbiz – a wee change from the 300-odd (mostly) dilapidated and damp houses I’ve walked through for Hammer – and the thrill of being live on air.
But (and I’m being honest here) the thing I couldn’t stop thinking about was professional make up.
I miss it.
For television make-up is transformative. I’ve walked into studios for breakfast TV at 5am looking like a ghost – and by the time “action” is called I look like a magazine shoot version of myself.
Once, I instigated a night out after being on telly because I loved my make-up so much and considered, like a good blow-dry, eeking it out for days, just topping up on liner every now and then.
People often ask if I “get hair and make-up” for Hammer and the answer is no.
The budget and logistics of getting a highly-paid artist to sit in my car outside a damp-ridden semi in Wolverhapton, well, it’s just not happening.
As frivolous and shallow as this all may seem, there is actually a more serious point.
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The women many of us obsess over – whether online, on TV, or in films, magazines or newspapers – more often than not have had this dose of magic applied to them.
They don’t have perfectly defined cheekbones, hair, lips, eyes and so on when they wake up – but when we see them, they do.
We can be forgiven for thinking that we somehow are lesser beings for it.
As last week’s column on Caroline Flack discussed (and thank you for all of your feedback) even the glitziest, glossiest of lives can be very different when the cameras stop rolling and the face wipes are applied.
As a tired-looking mum with runny nose, I cannot wait to be highlighted and glossed again.
I’m sure many can relate.
I feel lucky to experience the glitz that is a million miles removed from normal life – but I do know the important things in life are closer to home.
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