It’s the weekend.
Even without a Courier that would be cause for celebration. With it? Well, what a wonderful, magical time it promises to be.
Normally those of us in the hallowed territory of Coming Up corner would now spend a few care-free minutes throwing out a few entertaining and erudite paragraphs flagging up some of the fruitier offerings from Saturday’s Courier.
It would be a fascinating, but ultimately utterly thoughtless, process.
However, on this rare occasion I am going to laugh in the face of tradition and instead offer a top six six of the best if you will (or if you won’t I will) instead.
Hahaha.
That’s tradition laughed at.
Not for the aforementioned six:
6) Scraping in to the lower reaches of the Saturday chart is the tale of the bungling students who “blacked up” to celebrate the African Cup of Nations. It is very possible said students are the only people in the world surprised that their tomfoolery prompted adverse comment…
5) In at number 5 is the story of the Chinese television company members bellowing “lights, cameras, action” (probably) in Carnoustie. The story of golf is set to be beamed to millions in China thanks to their Angus efforts. Full details to the FORE in Saturday’s very much ABOVE PAR (but in a good way) Courier.
4) When counting down from six to one, four follows five as surely as night follows day. And it is with this numbering convention in mind that I now turn to my attention to number four on my chart. At said position is fascinating detail surrounding the local settlements vying to be immortalised on the squares of a Monopoly board. I don’t want to give too much away but could Perth City Hall or St Andrews Cathedral be set to appear? (and if they aren’t some fairly mammoth clues I don’t what are)
3) Number three in this wildly entertaining and offbeat countdown and…”these are not just eggs, these are double-yolkers”. That’s right folks, M&S has come up with the egg-celent not to mention cracking idea to sell boxes of eggs made up entirely of double-yolkers. But how much will they shell for? Find out in Saturday’s Courier. Actually all chortling aside, it really is a great story. Really, really is. Honestly. I’m not yolking
2) Arrr. Avast ye landlubbers for number two on our chart which involves the treasure-soaked antics of Dundee pirate captain William Kidd. What has the wag been up to now (by now I mean the mid-17th century). Find out in the pages of Saturday’s Courier as some most enticing historic artefacts go under the hammer…
1) At number one come on, you know this and, of course, it’s game, set and love match Murray. Yip, everybody’s favourite tennis star, the very gregarious Andy Murray, is tying the knot on April 11. We have all the details and even investigate a potential order of service…Ave Maria (Sharapova), Morning Has Broken (His Serve) and even Can’t Take My Eyes Of You (by Frankie Volley). Can you do any better? If so, don’t be shy, serve it up (sorry).
So there you go. As pledged, six of the very best.
But there are many more treasures in Saturday’s Courier. And that, dear reader, is a promise.
Don’t miss out please do ensure you snap up a newspaper almost certain to be remembered for many, many centuries (I don’t think that’s putting it too strongly). For the avoidance of doubt, I’m talking about Saturday’s Courier. If the mood takes you, perhaps you might even try out our super-duper digital edition?