Throughout her journey with breast cancer, Barbara-Ann Mackay was called a warrior – but she most certainly had an army by her side.
The 43-year-old mum-of-two, from Arbroath, was diagnosed in 2018 during a period of eight months where, incredibly, her sister and aunt also had to undergo treatment for the disease.
Just as they were together every step of the way through their darkest moments, they’ll join forces again to take on this year’s Edinburgh MoonWalk.
Side-by-side, Barbara-Ann, her sister Sarah-Jane Shellard, 47, and their aunt Audrey Anderson, 56, also from Arbroath, hope to make a difference by raising money for vital research in the fight to stop others going through the same experience.
“It’s really quite nice, being told you’re warrior,” Barbara-Ann said. “People say you’re so brave in what you’re doing, but you know you have to get through it.
“When you’ve got a young family, you just have to get up and get on with life as well. Through my chemo I probably had one session when I was really, really bad and I was floored, but apart from that I just tried to live as normally as I could. Get up, see the boys, walk them to school. Live a normal life for them really.”
Arbroath family’s history of breast cancer
There was already a history of breast cancer in Barbara-Ann’s family when she first got a lump examined in 2015. Her gran and two great-aunts had sadly died from it, and her mum’s cousin would also later be diagnosed.
After being told not to worry about it and that it was a blocked milk duct, it wasn’t until March 2018 and her aunt Audrey’s diagnosis that she decided to get it checked out again.
Initially again being told all was ok, she was called back for a biopsy to double-check.
“At the age of 38, I still wasn’t classed as a priority and had to wait another five weeks for an appointment at the breast clinic,” Barbara-Ann recalls. “They wouldn’t do a mammogram because I was so young, but I did have an ultrasound.
“Once again, the head of radiology told me that everything would be ok and that I had nothing to worry about. I was really shocked to hear her say this, as she didn’t know my family history and it felt as though she’d totally dismissed me.
“It was a big shock to be told I’d actually be having a biopsy, basically to double-check that everything was in fact ok.
“I began to sense that something was wrong after all.”
The results came back and she was finally diagnosed with breast cancer in August 2018, starting treatment later that month.
Barbara-Ann says she coped “quite well” with the news thanks to her positive outlook on life. While it was challenged every day, she knew that she had her family to lean on.
Eventually though, there was a breaking point.
“For the first ten weeks, I didn’t actually cry until I was told I had to have chemo – that’s when it hit. That was the hard part.”
As Barbara-Ann learned to deal with her own diagnosis, the family was rocked by yet more bad news.
Just three months later, sister Sarah-Jane, who has four children, was also told that she had breast cancer after finding a lump of her own.
“I didn’t believe it,” Sarah-Jane said. “You just think ‘nah, it can’t be me, don’t be daft.’ When I first found the lump I was thinking positively but when you get that call back and you have to get it checked… we could tell by the tone of the nurses and the way they were speaking that it wasn’t good news.
“I was diagnosed and went through the double mastectomy and chemo. Towards the end I ended up very poorly in intensive care. I didn’t know if I was going to make it out, if I’d see my son start primary school, but you just have to keep fighting.
“There were dark moments. I couldn’t breathe, I had nurses all round me. I did think at one point that I wasn’t going to get any better.
“It was words from a nurse that I remember: ‘you can do this Sarah-Jane you can do it’ and I did!”
How they supported each other through chemo
While their three journeys were very different, the three women were each others’ motivators and shoulders to cry on through their treatment, each going through chemotherapy and double mastectomies.
“If you were having a bad day, you knew they were there or that they’d been through it too,” Barbara-Ann said.
“It did make the process easier than going through it yourself. I was able to go to my sister’s chemo. She came to mine. I went to my auntie’s.”
Audrey, who has a son and a daughter, found it particularly tough having lost her mum and two aunties to breast cancer.
“It was extremely hard,” she said. “Everyone had succumbed to it. As soon as you hear the word cancer, my head went down that route.
“If I’m honest I didn’t think I would still be here today. It’s never anything that you want to share with your nieces but we were there for each other.”
Barbara-Ann added: “She saw that nobody had survived from this in the family. I turned that around and said no, we’ll be the first survivors.”
In another unfortunate stroke of timing, Barbara-Ann had started her probationary year as a teacher in the same week as her diagnosis.
“I began on the Monday and was diagnosed on the Friday. That was tough going, having to go and talk to your head teacher and say ‘oh, by the way, I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer’.
“I had my surgery in October and I was determined I was walking across the stage to pick up my post-grad teaching diploma.”
Testament to Barbara-Ann’s mental fortitude, it was a goal that was fulfilled, graduating from the University of Dundee with her primary teaching degree in a ceremony at the end of 2018 – just four weeks after undergoing gruelling 11-hour surgery.
“After everything, it was a very poignant moment for my family,” she said.
Taking on the MoonWalk
The MoonWalk in September will come just after Barbara-Ann marks five years clear.
“We’re all doing great,” she said. “We get annual checks so it’s about being positive through all them.
“I don’t live my life thinking I’m going to get cancer again. That’s not me. I just keep living my life every day as though it’s the last.
“As they say, life’s too short. Someone once said to me that you only live once. but I said no, actually you don’t. You die once, you live every day.”
The women have all had some form of genetic testing and have tested negative for the altered BRCA gene, which means that carriers have a greater chance of developing breast and ovarian cancer.
However, Audrey did test positive for a genetic abnormality called CHEK2. Sarah-Jane and Barbara-Ann tested negative, but scientists think that there may still be a link and the answer to it all may eventually come as research advances.
“The scientists think that there may still be a link between my sister and I and CHEK2, but they haven’t discovered exactly what yet. We’ll see what happens going forward, as the science moves on.”
Organised by breast cancer charity Walk The Walk, the annual MoonWalk Scotland sees thousands of women and men wearing brightly decorated bras walk marathons through the streets of Edinburgh at midnight to raise funds for vital research.
Barbara-Ann, who has done the charity challenge twice already in 2006 and 2007, will be joined by Sarah-Jane, who credits walking with helping her get through chemo, and Audrey in taking on the Half Moon (13.1 mile) walk, while her mum and Audrey’s twin sister will also be volunteering as part of a big team of family and friends.
“Even thinking about it now makes me want to cry,” Barbara-Ann said. “It’ll be tough. I’m appreciating everybody that’s come on board to be part of the group. It’s not just family, it’s friends as well that want to raise money, and just have a great night as well.”
Audrey said: “Five years on its now about doing something to give back. Research has always been my thing, going through all my treatments and whatever else I did extra tests all in the name of research.
“Whatever can help, 100% I’m there. We’re proof that things have changed in the years since my mum and my aunties.”
Barbara-Ann added: “We’ve got a great place at Ninewells and it’s about doing things like the MoonWalk, raising money and getting the research done.
“I don’t want other people to have to go through this.”
The Edinburgh MoonWalk takes place overnight on September 9-10. To sign up visit walkthewalk.org. Entries close at midday on Tuesday August 29.
Conversation