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Woman describes sense of helplessness in lead-up to partner’s tragic death

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A heartbroken Dundee woman has told of how she watched in despair as her partner’s mental health deteriorated until he took his own life last week.

Deon Smith, who was 36, committed suicide last Thursday. The father-of-three and vice-chairman of Tayside Airgun Club had a long history of mental illness.

However, Karen Scott, his partner of 20 years, said she was frustrated that there had been nobody she could turn to for help as his condition worsened.

“He was depressed, but I was told that because he was an adult unless he went to a GP himself there was nothing they could do to help,” she told The Courier. “I think there should be more people there to help.”

Karen said she hopes that anyone reading Deon’s story will seek help if they are suffering similar symptoms.

“Everybody should go and see somebody,” she said. “Maybe if Deon had spoken to a friend they could have recommended somebody. Maybe it is more difficult for men to go and seek help.”

Deon had been prescribed medication for his illness but he stopped taking the pills as he said they made him feel worse.

“They said that if he wouldn’t take his medication there was not a lot they could do to help,” said Karen, who is still recovering from a serious illness herself.

“I was diagnosed with cancer last year and had half a lung removed,” she continued. “I had hoped 2011 was going to be a lot better but they say a lot of people start reminiscing at New Year and that could have pushed him over the edge.”

She and her children had to watch helplessly as Deon’s condition deteriorated to the point that he began self-harming in their Fintry home but still refused to seek help.

“By last week he had become so deranged,” said Karen. “He was trying to hurt himself in the house so I phoned the police hoping they would come and take him to the hospital, but they said because he wasn’t doing anything wrong there was nothing they could do either.”

Karen and Deon’s three children Dean (14), Rachel (13) and Billy (4) are struggling to cope with their father’s death.

“We had explained to them that he was ill and that it wasn’t their fault,” she said. “Billy seems a bit more happy. He thinks his father is in heaven with his grandad. It would be nice to be four years old.”

Now Karen hopes that others will seek help if they find themselves in a similar situation to Deon.

“A lot of people must go through the same thing,” she said. “Deon was vice-chairman of the Dundee Airgun Club and was in the Scotland shooting team. He had a lot of interests, friends and family but there was nobody there to help him.”

Deon was born in Johannesburg, South Africa, but was adopted and moved to Scotland when he was five, attending St Luke’s Primary and St Saviour’s High School in Dundee.

A spokeswoman for NHS Tayside said, “People need to seek help through their GP in the first instance or through a community group like Breathing Space.”

Dr Andrew McCulloch, chief executive of the British Mental Health Foundation, added, “People with mental health problems are at an increased risk of suicide, with up to 90% of suicide victims reported to have been suffering from a psychological disorder at the time of their death.

“There is no one ‘right’ way of dealing with suicidal feelings, only the way that works for your particular circumstances. Talking through the options with your GP, clinical psychologist or mental health worker can help you find the support that is most appropriate for you.

“If you can’t make it to see a GP, just talking your feelings through with a friend or family member can help in the short term, while the Samaritans also offer anonymous 24-hour emotional support for people who are feeling low or suicidal on 08457 90 90 90.”