If it wasn’t for Oldham Athletic the Dundee FC family could live happily ever after.
Well, until the start of next season, anyway.
It’s called the Harkins theory.
That’s because the loan signing of the prodigal son would have brought harmony back to Dens Park.
At the moment there are two camps those who are perfectly content that their side are top of the Championship and heading for promotion, caring not a jot how it is achieved. And those who feel they have yet to play the sort of football that merits their position, and certainly do care a jot how it is achieved (and aren’t actually convinced that it will be).
The Dens split-personality was perfectly encapsulated in one Christmas-time afternoon when a sizeable section of the crowd turned restless (not for the first time, but certainly the most vociferous). Then, rather than pretend it didn’t happen, a “disgusted” John Brown vented his frustration at then after a 3-0 win had been secured.
Is your glass half-full? It was another three points towards achieving their season’s aim. Or is it half-empty? Dundee were out-played by part-time Dumbarton for much of the match.
That’s where the Harkins theory comes in.
With him in this team they could all have their cake and eat it.
It was Harkins’ influence on Dundee at the back end of last season that kept the dream of a great escape alive with a deft flick here, and a goal or two there.
And no Dark Blues fans will forget his talismanic presence in the year of the points deduction.
Dundee are two points clear at the top of the table and will almost certainly win the league to my mind, but had Harkins been loaned by St Mirren to the Dark Blues rather than Lancashire on Friday, they would have cruised to the title by 10 points or more.
Danny Lennon didn’t believe St Mirren could accommodate his, shall we say, less-than-energetic presence, but Dundee have more than enough willing midfielders to do his running.
As it is though, Brown isn’t likely to be able to attract a player of similar off-the-cuff talent, even if he has the wherewithal, and as a consequence the style of football that doesn’t sit easy with some isn’t likely to change.
But should it really be such a hardship to endure?
From what I have seen of Dundee this season, John Brown has built a side suited to the job in hand.
Yes, there are a few sides easier on the eye. Second-placed Hamilton are among them, but it was boys against men when Dundee beat them at their own ground, and there have been as many downs as there have been ups since.
Brown is the only Championship manager out of the 10 who works under the pressure of having to get promoted or he’ll be sacked.
It’s a lot easier to half-fill your team with kids and take the hand-brake off them when your job isn’t on the line.
I certainly don’t blame him for prioritising experience and solidity over youth and lack of inhibition.
History has proved that’s what gets a team up from the second tier of Scottish football to the first. St Johnstone old boys in the dressing room, Peter MacDonald and Gary Irvine, will testify to that.
It will be a different job Brown is faced with in the summer, because this squad’s limitations would be exposed in the Premiership without a big rebuild, as last season’s was.
And it will take more than just the third coming of Gary Harkins.
Solskjaer in no-lose position
It would be easy to arrive at the conclusion that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has taken leave of his senses by agreeing to work for Vincent Tan.
For reasons that don’t need rehearsing again, Tan has lifted the description “interfering owner” to a whole new level.
But one thing he can’t be accused of is not backing his manager in the transfer market. Malky Mackay was allowed to spend, and spend well (£50 million) in the summer, and there is a case to be made that the Scotsman and his head of recruitment who has also been sacked didn’t make best use of their kitty.
As I see it, Solskjaer is in a no-lose position.
If he manages to successfully humour his boss and at the same time establish Cardiff as a mid-table Premier League club or better, his reputation will be enhanced.
And, as I wrote a couple of weeks ago, the Baby-faced Tactician could find himself in prime position to replace David Moyes as Manchester United manager if the Glazers get twitchy.
On the other hand, if Tan doesn’t change his ways, Solskjaer gets the Mackay treatment and is sacked, or he walks, then the Norwegian has a ready-made excuse.
“How could I possibly do the job well with this bampot of a chairman?”
Solskjaer will either succeed despite Tan or fail because of him. And both scenarios will do him no harm whatsoever.
Schedule ‘not ideal for Stars’
Next time you feel anything approaching sympathy for a football manager who moans about the number of matches his team has to play in a short space of time, if it’s too public to give yourself a slap across the face, then start thinking ice, pucks, and men with sticks who like to fight each other.
In ice hockey weekend double-headers are common place, but even in that context the Dundee Stars had it particularly tough at the weekend.
How’s this for an itinerary? First up is a match in Belfast against the runaway Elite League leaders on Saturday night, then less than 24 hours later they were facing off against the second-placed team in a Scottish derby.
Oh, and did I mention that between times they were travelling back from Ireland by ferry.
So Jose, do you mind playing Manchester United at Old Trafford with a tea-time kick off on Saturday, and then you’ve got Liverpool at Anfield on Super Sunday the day after? That OK with you? And if it’s quite alright, could you take a boat trip down the Mersey to get there?
Something tells me Mr Mourinho (or any of his pampered Premier League counterparts) wouldn’t have accepted their assignment with the stoicism of Stars coach Jeff Hutchins.
We’re barely into 2014 but you can close the book on the award for sporting understatement of the year.
“The trip is not ideal,” Hutchins deadpanned.
Different worlds.