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MARY-JANE DUNCAN: Happy birthday to my laid-back tech guru

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Every time I say something about ‘the other day’ it starts a riot of laughter in this house.

Apparently, the kids have learned I could be referring to anytime between yesterday and 1998.

If I launch into a story about something we used to have, usually while wrangling some new gadget, they remind me about us only having  four channels, waiting a whole week between episodes and how proud we were to be the first people on the street to have a VHS video recorder.

The passing of the tech baton

Way back then, I used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp modern tech, but now anytime something new appears, I’m quick to declare, ‘I am NOT learning that’.

Thankfully the tech guru baton has passed from my older brother to our middle kid.

She has limitless patience and enough grace to hide her despair at watching me attempt to work out which remote does what.

She accepts, without hesitation, her mother used to be young and fun. However the version she knows (and loves) has to turn down the radio in the car to help her see better and her heated car seats are no longer a luxury but a vital part of her health care routine.

Mary-Jane’s middle kid turned 16. Among the celebrations? A hurl in a friend’s boat.

This week we celebrated 16 whole years of her.  A birthday rolling in with very few requests or instruction, she’s rather laid back for a teenager.

And what a breath of fresh air she is.  Friends complain not even a zombie apocalypse would distract their teens from TikTok, meanwhile she didn’t want a party, choosing to spend time with just us instead.

Why teenage daughters are like cats

Others describe having a teenage daughter as like having a cat, only coming out to eat or hiss at them when they try to be nice.

Her birthday present request?  Some new non-stick pans to help cook dinner and some new socks (the dog having chewed holes in hers).

She wasn’t always this easy.  There was a time she was known mostly as ‘angry baby’.

Getting her to sleep was like a game of Snakes and Ladders.  One wrong move and we were back to the beginning.

The second we’d master something; she’d change the game, so we were sh*t at it again.

Thankfully not anymore. When you have a daughter, folks warn you whatever you did in your younger years will come back to haunt you.

What did I do to deserve it?

I’m the first to admit I was no angel, but I don’t know what I did to deserve this one.  And she ought to be celebrated in whatever way she chooses, with maybe just a few tiny frivolous additions.

Did we listen to the modest requests?  Yes and no.  We curbed any party notions, slightly relieved and grateful due to the ongoing situation regards the house.

We bought her new non-stick pans and socks but also got a few more bits and pieces.  And a cake.  And some balloons.  You can’t have a birthday without balloons.  It’s the law.

We’re lucky to have good friends who know and understand her quieter ways, who helped us bring in her 16th year with nothing but joy and love.

A hurl  in our friend’s boat saw her donning the hat and being the captain of her ship.

Followed by a takeaway, homemade cake, and excellent rendition of Happy Birthday.

The birthday girl. MJ’s ‘middle kid’ at 16. Happy birthday Lexie!

As her sister was at school and himself was sleeping off a nightshift, her actual birthday required a wait till tea time.

An impressive act requiring patience beyond anything ever achieved in my 46years.

Presents and cards followed by a night ten-pin bowling, before back to studying for her final exam.

She may no longer reach for our hands to cross the road like she used to.

The delicate balance between letting her have independence to discover the world and desperately wanting to keep her safe challenges us on our parenting journey.

It’s just one of many more transitions.  Some will pass without us even realising, but she’ll do it time and again and soon it will become the norm.

And we’ll get to witness it even if it gets tougher the older she gets.

So, Happy Birthday Lexie, one more birthday in the bag, another two to go.  Sod it, I’m tired, Happy Birthday everyone, consider this post valid until the end of 2022.

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