“Adapt to survive” sounds more like a Bear Grylls tagline than the motto of a teenage girl.
But for novelist Ella Berman, it was a mantra which fuelled her adolescence.
“My mum dropped over my teenage diaries in one of the lockdowns,” reveals Ella, whose sophomore novel Before We Were Innocent was released just last month.
“I was reading the pages about my friendship group when I was about 15/16, and I was just honestly taken right back to that feeling of slipping out of own skin for a few years.
“I became part of a homogenised group, you know? ‘Adapt to survive’! But I always knew like, at some point I’d come back to myself and figure out exactly what my values were outside of that.”
It was that feeling of being subsumed by the girl-group which inspired the murky, twisting plot of Before We Were Innocent, Ella explains.
The novel, written during the 2021 lockdowns, follows two estranged best friends – hermit-like Bess and influencer Joni, as after almost a decade of not speaking, Joni turns up on Bess’ doorstep asking for help.
Through a series of flashbacks to an ill-fated teenage holiday in Greece, the tragedy which caused Bess and Joni’s fallout is revealed – as well as the consequences it held for each of them.
Female friendships ‘shape who we are’
“I feel like for me, the female friendships in my life have been the most significant ones and the most transformative,” reveals Ella, 37.
“And I think that particularly as a teenager, there’s just something very intense about that time. You’re testing the limits of everyone around you: ‘Will you still love me if I do this? What about this?’
“Bess and Joni demand a lot from each other, and I think in our female friendships in particular, we often do – but we give a lot of ourselves, too.
“And even if the friendships don’t last, they impact and shape who we are for the rest of our lives.”
Fashion brand co-founder turned novelist
Before We Were Innocent is Ella’s second novel, but first to be published in the UK, where she is more commonly known as the co-founder of fashion brand London Loves LA.
It’s no surprise then that clothes feature heavily in the novel, but for Ella, they aren’t just pop culture touchstones – they’re writing tools.
“I think clothing is a big part of character building for me, and sometimes I do use clothes that I’ve got in the London Loves LA collection to put them in so I can visualise it better,” she explains.
“I actually don’t have the most visual imagination, so I can’t picture their faces, but I think if I can put them in clothes that I’ve seen and which place them in a specific era, then they come to life for me.”
As part of her “research” for the novel – she uses the term loosely – Ella reveals she rewatched cult TV series Laguna Beach, since her characters live in the lavish gated communities of Calabasas, California.
“I think there are a few differences between what 18-year-olds would’ve been wearing in the US and the UK in 2008,” she laughs. “They didn’t have Girls Aloud there, for example!”
Kardashian-town Calabasas is ‘different world’
Explaining why she chose to set the novel in Calabasas, she says: “I lived in LA when I was very young and then since I’ve spent a lot of time there.
“We used to spend the full summer there, so I did have some experience of observing this subculture that was very different to my own.
“But my family friends lived in Calabasas. And I remember being just completely floored by this pristine, perfect place where every house is almost identical – it’s a different world.”
Beneath the veneer of perfection in the novel’s Calabasas is a roiling mess of prescription drug addicted parents, academic pressure and indominable teenage egos.
But instead of their Greek getaway providing an escape, the remote, picturesque town of Tinos only serves to amplify the girls’ issues.
“When I started the book, in the third winter lockdown in 2021, and I was just dreaming of the blues of Greece, and just seeing anything other than muddy, grey London,” laughs Ella.
“I’ve been there quite a few times to various islands, and I just think there’s something very magical about it.
“But I think because of the time in which I was writing it, the creeping feeling of claustrophobia really set in, that I was experiencing.
“In both timelines, the women are trapped in their surroundings, so I think it really makes sense that it was a product of the time in which I was writing it.”
Media shaming follows women around
Indeed, the scandal of their incident abroad sets Joni and Bess up for a lifetime of media hounding, a theme which Ella finds morbidly fascinating as a member of the first generation to have social media from a young age.
“I was looking at my old Facebook wall posts from around age 18/19, and the photo albums we used to post,” she says.
“I just imagined if those had all been exposed, and all my letters and emails to my friends – if they were viewed through the prism of the worst moment of my life, how would I survive that?”
She reveals that she too went on an “ill advised” girls holiday when she was 16, meaning she has a lot of empathy for her characters.
“Thankfully nothing happened like what happens to the girls in the book!” she adds hastily. “But you know, if something had, how would we have been portrayed in the media? I imagine not in the best light.”
Dating app job was ‘soul-destroying’
Technology and the trappings of modern life are a big part of the novel, and Ella reveals that Bess’ adult day job as a complaints moderator for fictional dating app SoulM8s was drawn directly from her own experience.
“I actually did that job for a while, for a dating app which will go unnamed,” she teases. “And at first it was very fun! I was like: ‘This is amazing, I just get to read people’s messages!’
“And then gradually it became one of the most soul-destroying things I’ve ever done. Because you’re only seeing the worst of things – no one’s going to report someone for a lovely interaction and a happy ending.”
As for actual soulmates, Ella insists that despite her dark humour, she does believe in them – though they aren’t always romantic partners.
“My sweet dog is my soulmate, and I think my husband would also agree with that,” she laughs.
“But I think ultimately we make our own soulmates.”
Before We Were Innocent by Ella Berman is published by Aria, RRP £20, available now from all major booksellers.
