The MacNaughties are left – and so is the chief. For a few days everyone at Armstrong MacGregor Towers must fend for themselves.
Because I am off to Northern Ireland.
The last time I was in Belfast was more than 30 years ago.
Back in the early nineties, when working as an ITN newscaster, I took the ferry over to appear on an evening TV chat show.
It was during what became known as ‘The Troubles’. And although it was entertaining on set with the genial host, Gerry Kelly, outside an air of danger hung over the city.
The peace walls a reminder
My recollections are of high barbed wire fences. Of searches and army patrols. You left your car in the wrong place at your peril.
This time I know it will be different. Because the check points have long gone and there are no soldiers on the streets.
The only seeming reminder of darker days are the painted peace walls that once separated the warring parties.
Now these stockades are tourist attractions; a series of taxis and buses taking sightseers around the miles of artistically covered sites.
Traditional and modern
I, though, have my own guide. I am travelling with a girlfriend who was born and brought up in the city, and she is giving me the inside story.
Standing on the banks of the River Lagan, Belfast is a mix of the traditional and the modern.
Despite the best efforts of 20th Century bombs, the old is thankfully well preserved; the magnificent domed and columned City Hall, for example, boasting an entrance that can rival any ornate cathedral.
Religion is still key here. On every corner is a place of worship. There are hundreds of them. Belfast is known for its churches – and its pubs.
The Titanic Museum
It is also famed for its shipbuilding. A once unsinkable vessel was built here – and if you ever want to see what a modern-day exhibition centre looks like, The Titanic Museum is the place to go.
Here incredible interactive displays tell the story of the doomed boat. In my day, museums consisted of little more than stuffed birds and ancient stones displayed in glass cases. Today’s museums are pure theatre.
As are the pink buses, the towering Balls on the Falls sculpture, and the steaming plates of Irish stew stylishly placed before you in a restaurant.
‘Who took the sugar off your bun?’
Three days is not long enough to take in a city. So, I will go back – and take the chief as his memories of being a serving solider there need to be updated.
The ferry is on time, and I get home to an ecstatic welcome from the naughty Norfolk.
Then he turns his back on me and goes sour-faced to his bed. I am being punished for going away.
‘Who took the sugar off your bun?’ I ask. That is Belfast speak, by the way, for why are you so cross looking?
On that note, they do the most delicious traybakes there. It is the culture. Eating cake is a must in Belfast…
