It’s the most British thing I have witnessed in all my days. The queue and people watching those queuing live on TV.
Joining the line in the post office no longer cuts it. Celebrities stood shoulder to shoulder with members of the public, totalling some 250,000, waiting to pay their respects to the Queen, albeit briefly.
Unless you’re This Morning’s Holly and Phil. National outrage and cries for resignations over the ‘we skip any queue’ gate. Apparently they were attending on official business, but national reaction to morning TV’s sweethearts has been swiftly unforgiving.
Never mind the post office line
Joining the line at the post office may feel as long, but nobody has produced a map of where to nip out of the ‘Elizabeth Line’ for a quick pint. Yet.
Any state visit to the UK is logistically difficult enough but this has been almost incomprehensible and, whether you’re a royalist or not, you at least have to be impressed with vast skills on show this week. Team HRH Queen Elizabeth, take a bow.
I almost hate myself for being glued to the screen, I had weeks of housework to catch up on, but there I was switching between the channels to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
The flowers, the uniforms, the horses and the corgis. One day you’re 23 enjoying happy hour in a crowded bar, the next you’re in your 40s glued to the footage. Global royalty. Heads of foreign governments. World leaders. I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Z list ‘sleb contestants need not apply.
Even Ant and Dec weren’t invited. That would’ve been another two seats to find, you can’t really have Ant without Dec now can you?
Were there tantrums over seats?
There were 2,200 guests, 500 of which were overseas heads of state or foreign dignitaries. Where did they stay? Who was wearing what? Was there a tantrum or two over the seating plan and where Earl Marshall, the Duke of Norfolk had sat them?
Seven surviving British PMs, and their spouses, prominently seated. President Biden 14 rows from the front, behind the Polish President. Someone pass this ignorant peasant some popcorn. I need to google what is going on!
Our mere commoners’ wedding didn’t have a seating plan. At the last minute, the hotel owner begged me to plan one. I couldn’t understand her desperation.
But she was completely right, it was to stop a riot. So, for any of you currently planning a wedding, this is an absolute gift to you. Pipe right down Auntie Barbara! If Biden can sit NINE rows behind the Canadian Prime Minister, you can sit next to cousin Barry and his weird girlfriend.
The clever internet folks told me Commonwealth political leaders outrank those from the rest of the world, regardless of their importance.
Even President Biden…
So, President Biden, who routinely arrives last at any major function to show he’s the most important person attending, had be there a whole hour before the funeral started and without his usual security entourage.
He may have arrived in the ‘Beast’ rather than on the ‘jolly bus’ but for a moment, at least, he experienced what it’s like to be a minor figure on a world stage.
Who wouldn’t have wanted to be a fly on the wall on those buses? Imagine instead of important worldly affairs, these VVVIPs got to relax and catch up. How’s the wife and kids? Are you still enjoying your private island? You simply MUST tell me where you got that darling handbag?
‘The back of the bus canny sing…’
In my tiny mind, there was a hint of school trip, party bus vibe happening, featuring a rousing rendition of ‘the back of the bus canny sing’ led by a police official during their biggest protective operation ever.
With the Canadian PM quoted as saying ‘a lot of great conversations can happen on a bus’. I truly hope they did.
Viewing it all resulted in a lot of funeral chat with the kids. The future demise of their parents met with expected levels of despair and grief. Or not. As they announced plans to roll me into the harbour with a suckling pig styled bath bomb in my mouth for a lovely effervescent effect.
If I’m lucky and it’s not raining, they’ll even stay till the bubbles stop.
Conversation