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Borris, the otter bloke, pandamicks, and the English skills displayed on Facebook

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I have had a sobering experience. A friend sent a link to a Facebook discussion, warning that I might be disappointed by what I found. Never a truer word.

It was a group of ordinary folk commenting upon and arguing over Westminster shenanigans.

What a horrible place the world of social media is. Insults are traded, vitriol is spewed. And there are far too many people who appear to think they are writing something profound but who merely offer trite puns.

It wasn’t the political views that offended (I don’t mind what other people’s views are) it was the way they were expressed. The standard of written English was appalling. Is there anyone left who can spell, punctuate, or construct a proper sentence?

Amazingly, these people put their names to their posts. Are they not embarrassed to own such pitiable language skills?

A few examples. “I’m sickened by the sleeve.” Had this person really never seen the word sleaze written? There has been a “buy election”. But “knowone could have done a better job”, seemingly.

“Don’t assinate my opinion.” I don’t think an opinion can be assassinated. Or assinated.

“My six year old son would of done better”. He could probably have written it better too.

“If youd knew then what you no now would you’re vote of been different.” I don’t know where to start!

Someone called Borris came in for criticism: “Hes to rich to under stand how every day people live”. But some thought: “He is the best one of all of them even others”.

Sir Keir Starmer was also scolded. As was Kier Stammer, Stalmer, Starmar, and Starmor. Then poor Keir was referred to as the otter bloke (I think “the other bloke” was intended). I am in danger of, from now on, always thinking of him as “the otter bloke”!

There were the usual low-grade spelling misdemeanours. To instead of too. Hear instead of here. There instead of their. Although diddent (didn’t) was a new one, as was boath (both), and mi instead of my. Think on that for a second – there are people who don’t know how to spell “my”! What became of us? What happened to our education system?

Attempts to spell longer words were rather amusing. Millioners (millionaires). Nagotiate (negotiate). Othority (authority). And apparently we have suffered an unpresidented pandamick.

Worst, perhaps, was a reference to “the laber party”. Surely everyone knows Laber takes a capital L.

I will leave you with one person’s sage opinion. “We are the laughing stalk of the word.” At times, my friend, I think we are.

 


 

Word of the week

Pertinacious (adjective)

Holding stubbornly to an opinion. EG: “Spare us all from pertinacious prats with poorly-put political pontifications.”


Read the latest Oh my word! every Saturday in The Courier. Contact me at sfinan@dctmedia.co.uk