Panto season is once again upon us, and all over Scotland, wee ones are being told to clap their hands and stamp their feet by song-sheet-wielding dames.
But though they’re the ones in charge of the fun, being a dame is no easy feat.
Towering heels and even taller wigs, more blue eyeshadow than the entire 80s saw, and outrageously zany costumes mean being dame is part performance, part endurance test.
So we asked three of Tayside and Fife’s finest dames to share their tips and tricks for staying fabulous – and the biggest ‘oh no it didn’t!’ costume mishaps they’ve had to laugh off on stage.
Barrie Hunter, Perth Theatre
Oh no it didn’t!
What you need to understand is when I’ve got heels and a wig on, I’m standing at nearly seven feet, with the big, outlandish garb on!
I was playing Widow Twankey in Aladdin and it was the walk-down at the end, where everyone takes their bows.
We all, one by one, came through a big zipped-up portal, which was essentially like the door of a washing machine. And I had this giant foam wig, this big yellow circular thing, and it must’ve been 2.5-3ft high.
As I took my first step off the platform, the wig caught on the ‘portal’ and pulled me backwards, and I just flailed and flapped, and sort of skied without skis, boom-boom-boom down the steps!
I sort of laughed it off. And then when it got to the end and I came off, I noticed there was quite a lot of blood on my lower leg. I think the heel of one of my shoes must have run down my other leg, and opened up this wound!
Heels are a dangerous thing, especially combined with the biggest wig on the planet, it’s not a good thing to be doing! So that’s the perpetual panto scar that I bear!
Top tip: Skip the stage slap
I basically just use normal make up, I don’t use theatrical stuff.
I use a normal base – quite an orangey one, to be fair – but just normal eyeshadow and normal lipstick. I do put loads of it on!
But it comes off easily and quickly, which is good because I’m shaving every day, which I would never normally do.
My biggest struggle is the eyelashes, they either go on perfectly first time or they just don’t go on at all!
Tom Richmond, Thomson-Leng Musical Society, Gardyne Theatre
Oh no it didn’t!
When we did Cinderella, me and the other Ugly Sister completely broke the two beds that we had during the show!
So we just had to keep going, but sitting on the floor, with broken beds.
Top tip: Dae as yer telt!
Expect the unexpected, and just go with whatever the director or make-up people want to do, because they’re always right.
Don’t be afraid to do anything, because you’re there to be silly, so don’t be precious about it – just get it on your face!
Alan Steel, The Byre Theatre, St Andrews
Oh no it didn’t!
Oh my goodness! When I was singing Tina Turner, two guys sort of pulled my costume apart to reveal the teeny-tiny Tina dress.
Well, my wig went with the costume, and went off stage.
So I had to run after it and chase it!
Top tip: Get sparkly
The nice thing with the make up is because I’ve had my make up done professionally before for photoshoots and things, or for trailers, I’ve got photos, so I can use those and try to copy it.
I’m never going to be Kate Moss, but at least if I copy that make-up, I look a little bit less like a Halloween cake.
My one little quirk that I have is that I like to black out one of my teeth, because I think it makes her cheekier! And add loads of glitter! Loads of sparkle!
See Alan in Snow White at The Byre from Dec 1-31; Barrie in Jack and the Beanstalk at Perth Theatre from Nov 25 – Dec 31, and Tom in Frosted at the Gardyne Theatre from Nov 29 – Dec 4.
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