I have a lot in common with the dating app Tinder.
We’re fickle and frustrating. We hate small talk. And we’re both places where dreams go to die.
We also share a star sign.
In a few short weeks I’ll be another year older (and probably no wiser) and Tinder will celebrate its 10th year as the nation’s go-to dating app.
It’s the digital world’s answer to Cupid, with more than 75 million active users.
Every week, there are 1.5m Tinder dates taking place across the globe.
And only 1.4m of those end with a guy pretending to take an urgent call from his pal who has fallen down a well.
Tinder dominates the market.
And for us millennials, it’s hard to remember those halcyon days when the dating landscape wasn’t dominated by swiping and matching and throwing your phone at the wall in frustration.
Tinder is contrived and soulless
Those of you who have spent the last decade smugly loved-up might not have come across Tinder before.
It works like this: you pour yourself a cup of tea, sit down with your phone and try to find the love of your life hidden among thousands of photos of faces.
Sometimes, you have to make your decision based on nothing more than an inexplicably close-up image of a man’s torso.
Tinder men:
✅Greasy torso photo
✅”I lyk REAL girl’s no filters plz”
✅photo with the lads
✅”here for a good time not a long time”
✅mirror selfie with unmade bed in background
✅”here for a laf can’t stand stuck up girls who think they’re it— Kirsty Strickland (@KirstyStricklan) August 17, 2019
You swipe right for ‘’yes please’’ and left for ‘’absolutely not’’.
If you both like the look of each other, you match and can begin a conversation that often goes no further than “hey babe what u up 2?’’.
If it all sounds a bit contrived and soulless, that’s because it is.
But it’s also an efficient way to find a date at a time when meeting somebody the old-fashioned way is harder than ever.
Look, we’d all love to meet the love of our lives in a more narratively romantic way than a dating app.
It would be lovely to visit a cosy bookshop and feel a frisson of electricity as you and a tall stranger both reach for the same obscure novel.
Or at a gig, as your eyes lock from across the room and you weave through the crowd towards each other, the music drowned out by the sound of your own thumping heartbeat…
Romance? In this economy?
My personal preference – and I acknowledge this won’t be to everybody’s taste –would be a scenario where for some reason I’m urgently needed to assume the role of an elf at a shopping centre for Santa’s grotto.
The big man himself would take one look at me in my wee pointy shoes and realise I’m the one he’s been waiting for his whole life.
But it never happens like that, does it?
So, we swipe and we scroll and we Google to see if there are any health benefits to living and dying alone.
me on dating apps doing the bare minimum
— Kirsty Strickland (@KirstyStricklan) June 26, 2022
Romance? In this economy? It’s frankly a miracle we can even muster the energy to leave the house.
Dating apps were born out of necessity.
They are convenient – if not particularly inspiring.
And while we like to moan about them, millions of us still use them.
Tinder in particular gets a bad rep. It is often associated with the worst of humanity’s urges.
The Netflix documentary, The Tinder Swindler, has done nothing for its image.
And yes, dating apps can be shallow, callous – even dangerous – places to dwell at times.
But it’s not all bad conversation and photos that are decades out of date.
I’ve got friends who persevered through the excruciating carousel of first conversations and first dates before finally, after lots of blood, sweat and warm white wine, found the person they want to spend their lives with.
Their tales of love warm the soul. Which is particularly nice now that none of us can afford to put the heating on.
Dating apps aren’t going anywhere
Sometimes digital dating comes down to dumb luck and good timing. Sometimes it’s purely a numbers game.
My theory is that if you’re a naturally organised person you’ll do well on the dating apps.
It’s takes a LOT of admin work to find somebody you like enough to give your last Rolo to.
And confession time: I don’t actually use Tinder myself.
I did have an account a few years ago. But the vibe was a bit Love Island for me and I’m not well-groomed enough for that nonsense.
But I am on another one and I’ve been on a few first dates through it.
I use dating apps sparingly and grudgingly.
But that’s probably because I’m secretly still hoping that a guy in a Santa suit will come along and make things easy for me.
Ten years on and our reliance on Tinder and other dating apps shows no sign of waning.
They have changed the way we date forever.
But we should still remember to look up from our phones every now and then though.
Because while we’re busy swiping left, the right person might just be walking by.
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