At the weekend, Fifa provisionally suspended Spanish football federation president Luis Rubiales from all football-related activities.
The move comes after Mr Rubiales grabbed and kissed Spanish forward Jenni Hermoso during an awards presentation following the team’s 1-0 victory over England at the Women’s World Cup Final.
It’s a story that has rocked Spanish football.
Even for those of us who avoid women’s football with as much enthusiasm as we swerve the men’s game, the ramifications of that kiss are clear – and they reach far beyond the sporting world.
While the setting and personalities involved may be interesting enough to attract headlines, the actual dynamics at play are depressingly commonplace.
I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t have at least one tale to tell about a time a man touched her inappropriately without her consent.
Deep-rooted sexism and misogyny
When we think about such incidents, society has taught us to divide them into the categories of ‘serious’ and ‘harmless’.
Serious contains anything that is a criminal offence, including sexual assault and rape.
Of course, the deep-rooted sexism and misogyny of our culture still finds ways of blaming women when these crimes are committed against them and excusing the men who perpetrate them.
Everything else, we’re told, is ‘harmless’.
It’s low-level stuff: the kind of unwanted touching that can be easily explained away with the oft-repeated phrase ‘’he didn’t mean anything bad by it”.
We’ve seen this sentiment applied to the Luis Rubiales case, too.
His allies and apologists claim he was just being friendly; that his behaviour was normal in the context of a celebration and that kissing a sportswoman on the mouth is just part of Spanish culture.
Too many men (and, sadly, women) seem totally baffled by the idea that ‘affection’ should be something that both parties get a choice to participate in.
I heard one caller on the radio claim the kiss was fine because Mr Rubiales is an attractive man.
Social media is alight with people stating that the incident is being overblown and that no harm was done.
I suppose it’s easy to make such a diagnosis when you weren’t the one on the receiving end of it.
If you don’t have any experience of your bodily autonomy being completely disregarded by somebody bigger, stronger or more senior than you, a kiss probably does seem harmless.
Part and parcel of everyday life
I wonder how those men who are so quick to defend Mr Rubiales would feel if the next time they did well at work, their 6ft male boss grabbed them for a smooch of celebration.
They’d be confused, probably. But they might just brush it off as a weird incident if nothing like that had ever happened before.
But how would they feel if they’d been dealing with nonsense like that for most of their lives?
If street harassment, unwanted groping, aggressive ‘affection’ and casual sexism was just part and parcel of their everyday life, they might also take issue with it becoming a feature of the biggest moment of their career, too.
Often when something like this happens, we hear the well-meaning but no less pointless pleas of: “What if it was your mother, sister, auntie or daughter?”
But we’re in deep trouble if men need reminding they were birthed by a woman and have female relatives in order for them to understand that you can’t go round grabbing women without their consent.
Luis Rubiales has resisted pressure to resign, saying – without any apparent attempt at irony – he’s the victim of a ‘witch hunt’.
Jenni Hermoso says she did not consent to the kiss and that she had been coerced into making a statement saying it was consensual.
On Monday, Spain’s football federation will discuss what is to be done about Rubiales.
Whether he is removed from his post or not, the societal norms that meant he felt emboldened to behave in that way, at that moment, are unlikely to change any time soon.
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