Jim McLean deemed Dundee United’s first foray into Europe’s elite club competition 40 years ago to be a contravention of the Trades Description Act.
The Tangerines were now dining at European football’s top table.
But their first match in the competition had all the glamour of a lukewarm meal at a motorway service station.
The European Cup game at Tannadice Park against Maltese champions Hamrun Spartans on September 28 1983 was the first to be held in Dundee for 20 years.
Another chapter in the club’s history opened.
It was United’s reward for winning a maiden league championship and McLean’s side were leading 3-0 following the first leg, which took place in Malta the previous fortnight.
McLean used his programme notes and said the pairing with Hamrun would rank as the least demanding in nine European campaigns since joining the club in 1971.
He wrote: “Tonight, you will possibly witness a new concept in defensive football.
“I expect to see all eleven Hamrun players not only in their own half but, at times, encamped in their own penalty area.
“Hopefully my assessment will prove to be wrong and Hamrun will come to make this evening’s tie an entertaining one for everyone here.”
McLean was proved right
The game was played in heavy rain which kept the attendance to 8,213 and Hamrun spent 85 of the 90 minutes trying to prevent United from scoring.
The match was completely one-sided and the Maltese champions had two attempts at goal over the entire game while United produced 41 efforts with 22 on target.
United went flat out for goals and almost scored in their first move up the park when Eamonn Bannon sent Billy Kirkwood through but he shot wide of the near post.
It was all United and Paul Hegarty sent a header just past from a Ralph Milne corner.
The Maltese approach was based on damage limitation.
Almost.
They should have scored the first goal with 10 minutes played but the unmarked Michael Degiorgio fluffed his lines with just Hamish McAlpine to beat.
Normal service was quickly resumed.
Only the number of bodies in the Hamrun penalty box were keeping United at bay until the deadlock was finally broken on 28 minutes.
Bannon’s corner was hit on the volley by Ralph Milne at the edge of the box.
United went all-out for more goals.
The Maltese keeper, Charles Brincat, was given a yellow card for time wasting over a goal kick on 35 minutes, although he could hardly be blamed for taking a breather.
Hamrun were pulling out the stops to keep the score down.
Defender Edwin Farrugia was booked for a late tackle on Paul Sturrock.
The subsequent free-kick was quickly taken and the ball was headed back out to Kirkwood whose 22-yard shot took a deflection and wrong footed Brincat.
It was 2-0 United.
A leopard cannot change its spots
There was no change in the Maltese approach after the break, although they did appear in red-and-black-striped shirts instead of the red jerseys they had been wearing.
United quickly made it three on 46 minutes.
Bannon’s cross from the left was dropped by Brincat and fell to Davie Dodds who sent it back across the goal where Milne tapped the ball home on the byline.
Hamrun protested that Milne was off the park.
The goal stood.
The United pressure continued with the only surprise being that McLean’s men didn’t score more with Hegarty and Milne both striking the post in the second-half.
It finished up 3-0.
Hamrun did not behave like a team which had been comprehensively beaten.
They thought they had struck a blow for football on the island by losing by such a narrow margin compared to the 18 goals conceded by old-time rivals Valletta FC.
Valletta lost 18-0 on aggregate to Rangers in the European Cup Winners’ Cup, which meant Hamrun could go home with the reputation of being the strongest team in Malta.
Courier writer Tommy Gallacher watched events at Tannadice.
The legendary scribe followed every game during Dundee’s fairytale run to the European Cup semi-final in 1963 and was now covering United’s glory years.
A long career in the press box had brought many highlights.
He covered the famous 1960 European Cup Final when Real Madrid beat Eintracht Frankfurt 7-3 at Hampden, which he described as “the best game I ever saw”.
United versus Hamrun was therefore unlikely to eclipse the 10-goal thriller and he described the game in his match report as “very one-sided and almost farcical”.
Gallacher said United “might well have won by the proverbial cricket score” and the Maltese side had goalkeeper Joseph Brincat to thank “for keeping the score down”.
“There will be those who claim United should have scored more but it’s a hard, hard task putting the ball in any net when, for most of the game, you have got to get it past 10 players packed in their own penalty box and determined to keep you out,” he wrote.
“Give Hamrun their due, they played with a lot of guts.
“But the truth of the matter is that they were hopelessly outclassed all along the line and had more than their fair share of luck over the piece.”
Were Dundee United fans being short-changed in European Cup win?
No manager could complain about winning a European Cup tie 6-0 on aggregate.
Unless his name was Jim McLean.
His main regret, though, was that the United fans who had braved the torrential downpour to stand on the terracing had not been given value for money.
“Winning is always better than losing and we are pleased to be through to the next round but I question the value of a game like that,” said McLean.
“The spectators did not get the sort of game they were entitled to expect.
“Also, what did Hamrun Spartans learn from that?
“Wasting time and keeping the score down is not ambitious.”
McLean expressed disappointment with the way United played at Tannadice and said the standard of crosses when players were in good positions left a lot to be desired.
“But there’s no question of slamming anybody regarding tonight,” he said.
“The other side did not come here to play and a normal contest wasn’t possible.
“I was concerned about the time-wasting tactics employed by the Spartans.
“That’s not what people pay to see.”
So would McLean like to avoid opposition like that in the future?
“I’ll accept ties against teams of that standard right up to the final,” he replied.
A moment of humour following an evening of anti-football and gamesmanship.
United were through.
Athletic Bilbao, Benfica, Dynamo Berlin, Hamburg, Liverpool, Partizan Belgrade, Roma and Standard Liege would be among the 16 teams in the second round draw.
United’s European Cup adventure was out of the starting blocks.
