Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

MARY-JANE DUNCAN: My biggest bairn is leaving home. I’ll be okay, of course I will…

Post Thumbnail

Biggest bairn has just sent me a meme with nothing but the following HYSTERICAL sentence on it… ‘pray for my Mum, she’s suffering from ‘shoutfornoreason’ syndrome’. How rude.

I can’t begin to think what she means by it. Is it not normal for a mother to suggest that someone else takes a turn at running the hoover round the house or clean the bathroom? I have to laugh at the irony, she looks horror-struck at the thought of doing a dance with the Dyson on the same day she’s received an unconditional from university.

Does she think the magic cleaning fairy will follow? Or maybe they teach the cleaning fairies at the same educational establishment she’s been accepted? Bachelor in Bleach? Masters at Mopping? Tinkerbell’s theory of Spring Cleaning?

I take heart in the fact she has at least learned the art tea making. Not only brewing a cup, but ensuring anyone else in the house who might like a cup of tea is also asked.

There will be no making of solo cuppas in this house! A cup of tea is the solution 99% of all problems. Upset? Cup of tea. Lonely? Cup of Tea. Worried? Cup of tea. Anxious, depressed, too cold, too warm, something to celebrate? Cup. Of. Tea. And she makes a decent one at that. I can send her off into the world safe in the knowledge she at least has this skill and friends will follow.

A cup of tea solves everything.

Who am I trying to kid? I’m not ready to send my precious first born out there into the world? Who else will keep me company when the mister is on late shift? The other two watch weird programmes and don’t tolerate my penchant for the back catalogue of Scrubs. Who else can I send to the shop in the emergency ‘crisp’ run? A lack of salt n’ vinegar IS a valid emergency.

And yes, this IS all about me. Not the giant step into the rest of her life. Nor the fact she’ll meet so many new people and have so many brilliant experiences. CERTAINLY not the niggling worry that she might be a little too like me when I was at University. Absolutely none of those things.

We are excited to run round IKEA knowing any dodgy choice decisions she makes don’t need to accompany us home. Her sisters have already contacted our painter and decorator friend to book him for the moment she goes.

The tears of a mammy

Nick Knowles and his whole team couldn’t get it done quicker. The fact she even lived here will be a long forgotten fact. Commemorated only by the salty loch formed by the tears of a distraught mammy…

MJ and her eldest, who’s off to university soon.

This tiny thing rollicked into my world just short of 18 years ago and blew any semblance of normality and routine out of the water. And that was just fine.

I didn’t dress us in matching outfits or enter her in weird Mother/Daughter competitions, but I loved having a wee bestie that was a tonne of fun and hadn’t yet developed her award-winning eye roll. Who’s going to sing too loudly in the car with me now?

Thank goodness for the ‘spare’ kids. The two that aren’t determined to leave me quite yet, let’s not dwell on the fact it’s illegal for them to go quite yet and pretend it’s because they want to be here.

How did I leave before mobile phones?

How did my parents let me leave when I did? Before mobile phones? What were they thinking with their shoddy, lazier faire ‘70s parenting? I left home in 1994 and didn’t get my first mobile for years. When I finally did get one, my Dad phoned every half hour. That got old very quick.

I am going to be so much worse and I’m not even sorry. She is aware. I told her it’s my right and she can’t deny me it.

She’ll head off. She’ll settle in. She’ll make new friends and learn new things. She’ll go places I’ve not taken her to before and experience things I haven’t arranged.

Not a single jot will be given, not even one. And she’ll live happily ever after. The end. And I’ll be okay with that, because that’s what I’ve brought her up to do.

I will be okay with that, eventually…