LYNNE HOGGAN: What Big Brother needs is a house full of Scottish people

By Lynne Hoggan

August 4 2022, 2:57pm

If Big Brother bosses want oversized characters they could do worse than fill the house with Scottish people.

This week has brought news that not one, but two of my favourite TV shows are making a comeback.

First up, Gladiators. And yes, we are ready.

I have so many memories of watching people take on the likes of Jet, Wolf and Lightning back in the ’90s.

It’s being filmed down in Sheffield and members of the public will be able to join the audience. So it’ll soon be time to grab your foam finger and go for it.

But the comeback that’s got us all talking is, of course, the return of Big Brother.

Yes the reality TV monster, which first appeared in 2000, is on its way back – to ITV this time. And I cannot wait to see what they do with it.

Big Brother brought us some of the most iconic moments of the last two decades.

And that famous theme tune still sends nostalgic endorphins through our veins.

Memories of simpler times

I remember the early days of Big Brother when we’d get in from a night out, put on Channel 4 and watch the housemates SLEEP.

Imagine sitting there waiting for someone to get up for the loo or a drink of water of just move in bed?

Jade Goody, one of the breakout stars of Big Brother on Channel 4. BBH Pictures.

We’d never known anything like it. Watching random people in a house.

But Big Brother was at its best in the good old days when it first started.

The formula was ‘put some people who have never met in a house together, make them do tasks to get food shopping and see how they get on’.

And it worked.

I know they have to change things up to keep it interesting.

And so over the years they added twists and turns into Big Brother – late housemates arriving, double evictions and dividing housemates into different areas of the house.

But it had lost something by the time it was axed by Channel 5 in 2018.

Praying for
*Normal housemates from all walks
*Live evictions
*No outside contact
*Public vote
*Adopt a small part of gameplay from overseas territories
*Some form of Live feed
*Big Brother to always be in charge

— R Y L A N (@Rylan) August 2, 2022

I hope it doesn’t come back as a Love Island type show – all abs, extensions, tans and white teeth.

We want a bit of variety in our housemates.

But keep it simple I say. Let the magic happen.

Big Brother – but make it Scottish

Or if Big Brother bosses want to really change things up, what about a Scottish only Big Brother?

They could recruit a bunch of people from all over the country – a Glaswegian, a Dundonian, a Fifer – and have them do haggis eating tasks or see who can eat the most pehs in two minutes.

Nikki Grahame, who died last year after battling anorexia, starred in the seventh series of Big Brother. Yui Mok/PA Wire.

I can just hear Sandra from round the corner in charge of the shopping list, telling everyone she needs full fat milk in her tea when everyone else is wanting semi-skimmed.

Imagine the banter after a couple of drinks, imagine the drama. Imagine!

Like true Scots we’d watch religiously, maybe cringing at times.

But a Scottish Big Brother could be packed full of the best housemates – the pal you meet in a pub toilet on a night out, the guy at the bus stop who gives you a nod first thing in the morning, the lassie who said she loved your outfit.

Characters. Scottish folk. Legends.