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ASHLEY HENDERSON: Talking about toxic relationships will make girls and young women safer

Oor Fierce Girls new logo was designed by Sophie Kelly..
Oor Fierce Girls new logo was designed by Sophie Kelly..

As a teenage girl, I’ve had my fair share of safety talks.

How to look after myself, where to walk, how to dress; all to avoid sexual harassment or assault in the street.

However, what isn’t often spoken about is instances of this abuse in relationships – platonic or romantic.

It’s often believed that sexual abuse does not exist in relationships, when this simply isn’t the case.

I think it is crucial that all aspects of relationships are talked about freely to young people.

If we have more conversations about the way we deserve to be treated and what we are worth, the amount of toxic and harmful relationships will fall.

We will recognise when we aren’t being treated in the way that we should, and how to get help if we realise that we aren’t.

Recognise potential and stay safe

Too many people don’t believe that they’re worth much and will settle for being treated poorly, possibly putting themselves in dangerous situations.

However, if we make this less of a taboo or uncomfortable subject, we may be able to help young women and girls recognise their potential and keep themselves safe.

The more awareness we raise, the safer we can make young women feel.

Abuse in relationships needs to be spoken about more freely, says Ashley. Stock image from Shuttestock.

This project has been an incredible experience for me.

I’ve learned a lot about how to approach these difficult conversations, more than I ever expected to!

I have gotten so much from this and I can only hope that is has the same impact on other young women such as myself.

It’s good to talk

My only wish would be that we could make this more widespread, and help as many young people get the validation and safety they need and deserve.

I hope that people realise that it’s okay and good to talk about relationships, and they always deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

Nobody should feel uncomfortable or unsafe in any kind of relationship and I want people to understand that friendships can be just as harmful or toxic as a bad romantic relationship.

You are brave

But no matter what, a situation is never too hopeless – you are always worth saving.

I want young women to know that no matter what they do or how they feel about themselves, they should never be treated badly.

It’s never bad to get yourself out of a harmful or dangerous situation and it is always okay to speak to someone about it. I want them to know that they aren’t alone.

There will always be someone out there who will listen to you, and you are never pathetic or weak for asking for help.

You are brave and deserve the world. Always.

Ashley Henderson is a member of the Oor Fierce Girl movement. She is a Baldragon Academy pupil and soon-to-be Strathclyde University English and journalism student. This blog was originally published by YWCA Scotland.

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