Everyone is constantly making fools of themselves.
At least, that’s what comedian Suzi Ruffell likes to tell herself.
“I parked in the wrong place at my yoga centre the other day and I got told off by a lady that works there in front of everyone,” recalls the Live From The BBC star during a Zoom call from her Brighton home.
“That was quite embarrassing. But we’re all constantly making fools of ourselves, and that’s what I hope people take away from this show.”
The show in question is Snappy.
It focuses on “settling down (but not settling), becoming a mother (without becoming mumsy) and still worrying about everything” and Ruffell is bringing it to Dundee’s Gardyne Theatre later this month.
And she’ll be looking to snap up some new impressions while she’s here.
“I always have lovely shows in Scotland,” smiles the 37-year-old mum of one. “The Scottish crowds are generally super fun, really up for it.
“My only issue is that the actress in me starts listening out for the different sounds so that when I come home I can add, for example, a Dundee accent to my repertoire!”
‘I want everything done yesterday’ says Snappy comic Suzi Ruffell
The title, she explains, comes from her love of being a ‘snappy dresser’ – she’s known for her signature suits – as well as her tendency to “want everything done yesterday”.
“I am always going 100mph,” she says, speaking at a speed which confirms that to be true. “I’ve had to force myself to learn to stop and take things in, and to stop being so hectic.”
Ruffell, who is waiting on an ADHD diagnosis when we speak, reveals she’s tried several methods of slowing down with various levels of success – mediation, no; yoga, sometimes; sea swimming, often – but the activity which she finds most centring is being on stage.
“I’m very in the moment on stage, because you’ve got to be – if someone joins in, or if I’m having a chit-chat with the audience, I need to be on it,” she explains.
“So that makes me feel centred.”
But she admits that putting together this show presented a new challenge, as it was the first show she’d written whilst being a parent to her three-year-old daughter.
“She has a lot of attitude, but she can’t help it, you know? She’s feeling all her emotions for the very first time, and I’m trying to be very understanding,” chuckles Ruffell.
“This is the first time I’ve written a show whilst I’ve been a parent, and what it made me do was be really, really brave,” she continues.
“Because when you’ve got lots and lots of time to write a show, you don’t always have to try new stuff and you can be a bit cowardly. But because I didn’t have as much time as normal, I had to just be bold!”
Stand-up is no stranger to oversharing ‘rush of shame’
However, the Live At The Apollo regular admits that being bold doesn’t necessarily mean giving everything away – though her younger self perhaps thought it did.
“I can’t help but tell everyone everything, I’m like ‘blah blah blah!’,” she explains, with the help of hand-puppets.
“But I think it’s important to keep a little bit back.
“You know sometimes you have a drink and you overshare, and then you have that feeling in the morning? That rush of shame? You don’t want to have that feeling. So you have to work out where your level is.
“I’ve done it before, when I was a less experienced stand up, I would just share everything, and then years later I’d go: ‘Oh God, I really don’t like that that’s on telly!’
“So the older I get, the better I am at it.”
When it comes to working out that balance of performance and privacy, Ruffell says her partner Alice Storey is her barometer.
“I share everything about me, but I never share too much about my family,” she explains.
“Because my daughter’s too young to say ‘I don’t mind you talking about me’ and my partner is not in the industry and has not interest in being the centre of attention!”
Parenthood and stand-up is ‘constant juggle’
And though she’s regularly on tour, Ruffell feels “incredibly lucky” that she’s never away from home for more than three or four nights at a time, meaning she can juggle parenthood alongside her “showing-off career”.
“It’s not all rock ‘n’ roll, I don’t go and push TVs out of windows or get absolutely hammered,” she chuckles. “You can’t really do that on tour.
“I’m lucky that I’ve got a very supportive partner, and mother-in-law, and an amazing mum who are all really hands on and brilliant, and all help me have my showing-off career,” she says.
“It is a juggle, but I don’t think that’s any different to parents reading this that have a job that’s a bit more usual than being a stand up. I think it’s a constant juggle working out your job, your child, your partner, your friends, stuff that’s just for you.
“It’s a lot of plates in the air, and sometimes I get it wrong and they smash – just like any other parent.”
Queer visibility is important to Ruffell
But as a gay woman in the media who still has homophobia directed at her in 2023, Ruffell stands by her desire to be “visible”, and to share enough of herself that her show lets people into her world.
“My show definitely isn’t all about being gay. I’d say the majority of my audience is probably straight, because they just like comedy and they don’t give two hoots about who my partner is and what gender they are,” she says thoughtfully.
“But I certainly think the world is swinging to the right. And whereas once upon a time, I think I would’ve really focused on that, now I’ve realised that I can’t always change people’s minds – all I can do is be myself and live a happy and kind life.
“If people are shouting into a void on the internet, it’s their own time they’re wasting.”
Suzi Ruffell’s Snappy tour will hit Dundee’s Gardyne Theatre on November 15 2023.
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