Calendar An icon of a desk calendar. Cancel An icon of a circle with a diagonal line across. Caret An icon of a block arrow pointing to the right. Email An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of the Facebook "f" mark. Google An icon of the Google "G" mark. Linked In An icon of the Linked In "in" mark. Logout An icon representing logout. Profile An icon that resembles human head and shoulders. Telephone An icon of a traditional telephone receiver. Tick An icon of a tick mark. Is Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes. Is Not Public An icon of a human eye and eyelashes with a diagonal line through it. Pause Icon A two-lined pause icon for stopping interactions. Quote Mark A opening quote mark. Quote Mark A closing quote mark. Arrow An icon of an arrow. Folder An icon of a paper folder. Breaking An icon of an exclamation mark on a circular background. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Caret An icon of a caret arrow. Clock An icon of a clock face. Close An icon of the an X shape. Close Icon An icon used to represent where to interact to collapse or dismiss a component Comment An icon of a speech bubble. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Comments An icon of a speech bubble, denoting user comments. Ellipsis An icon of 3 horizontal dots. Envelope An icon of a paper envelope. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Camera An icon of a digital camera. Home An icon of a house. Instagram An icon of the Instagram logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. Magnifying Glass An icon of a magnifying glass. Search Icon A magnifying glass icon that is used to represent the function of searching. Menu An icon of 3 horizontal lines. Hamburger Menu Icon An icon used to represent a collapsed menu. Next An icon of an arrow pointing to the right. Notice An explanation mark centred inside a circle. Previous An icon of an arrow pointing to the left. Rating An icon of a star. Tag An icon of a tag. Twitter An icon of the Twitter logo. Video Camera An icon of a video camera shape. Speech Bubble Icon A icon displaying a speech bubble WhatsApp An icon of the WhatsApp logo. Information An icon of an information logo. Plus A mathematical 'plus' symbol. Duration An icon indicating Time. Success Tick An icon of a green tick. Success Tick Timeout An icon of a greyed out success tick. Loading Spinner An icon of a loading spinner. Facebook Messenger An icon of the facebook messenger app logo. Facebook An icon of a facebook f logo. Facebook Messenger An icon of the Twitter app logo. LinkedIn An icon of the LinkedIn logo. WhatsApp Messenger An icon of the Whatsapp messenger app logo. Email An icon of an mail envelope. Copy link A decentered black square over a white square.

MARY-JANE DUNCAN: I reached a big 50 and it’s not my birthday

Post Thumbnail

I have nobody to blame but myself for everyone wishing me a Happy 50th this week.  I am neither 50, nor is it my birthday.  It was, however, my 50th consecutive cycle of chemotherapy.

I felt that milestone merited a little celebration.  The mister bought me balloons to mark the occasion, heavy hints having been dropped – I do love a balloon.

Not content with collecting my latest cycle from my brilliant chemo team, I popped up a photo of my balloons on my social media pages.

MJ celebrates her 50th consecutive chemo cycle milestone with the NHS staff who have been on the journey with her.

Due to the amount of folk wishing me many happy returns, we could use this as an experiment regards how many people read text attached to a photograph.

I am left wondering if I might need to book in for some ‘work’.  For my face.

A nip tuck?  Maybe some fillers?  Actually, cancel the fillers, eating cake has the same desired results, it works just as well at keeping my face plump.

The week from hell

If there was ever a week to tip me into looking like am in my fifties, this would definitely be it.

In addition to the work being done at the house, we are having some essential repairs carried out at the caff.

Naturally, the minute we look at one thing, an additional new problem appears, and it’s ended up nearly all being demolished to be replaced.

It’s impossible to tidy the house.  I keep moving things around, putting them in different rooms but the house remains a disaster zone.

I optimistically light scented candle in a sea of rubble, stour and misplaced belongings, no longer identifiable, convinced this will fix things.

MJ marks the milestone. Her 50th consecutive chemo cycle.

I’ve spent this week stressing over a hospital appointment, so anxiety has crept in.  Making decisions is exhausting.  My lack of concentration is both obvious and abundant.

I have reached a stage where I worry am going to miss something important. Yoga!  I’ll try some yoga, although am not sure tightening my shoulders and holding for eight hours will help. Or the resultant headache that makes the people I love sound like shrieking banshees.

Not the busy Olympics

This isn’t the busy Olympics, and I don’t mean to imply my life is more hectic than anyone else’s, it’s just maybe not my week to shine or to step up.

To manage or succeed.  To have the rationality to deal with problems without hiding in a corner sobbing.

Or desperately wishing to hide under my duvet, waiting on my Mum to come find me and tell me everything is going to be alright.

Seriously, it’s like one day you’re a carefree bairn and then BAM, the very next day you’re crying at the carwash because the the lyrics to Landslide finally make sense.

Even copers need a break

Can someone please point me in the direction of the ‘needs a break’ queue?

Being a ‘coper’ is my usual state, but I just can’t seem to shake off the feeling of enough is enough now.  I’m a little broken.

I’ve ‘kept on swimming’ for long enough, even singing the Disney tune in my head as a mantra, but now, even I acknowledge, I desperately need a break.

If it wasn’t for the amazing people around me helping push down the imposter syndrome and reminding me of the reasons I do what I do, I might just chuck it all.

Talk about multi-tasking

I literally cannot even go to an oncology appointment without having to also do a delivery, collect some supplies and swing past the florist for wedding cake blooms.

But there are very valid motives to keep doing it.

The hospital appointment wasn’t the worst.  It also wasn’t the easiest.  And, as usual, I ended up sobbing once back in my car in the car park.

Fortunately, the mister knew exactly how to soothe a worried soul and treated me to a Greggs sausage, bean and cheese bake.  I. Am. Spoilt.

Hey train wreck, this isn’t your station

Pastry consumed, composure regained and acceptance that the show must go on.

As the boss, I’m front and centre with the production so, hey train wreck – this isn’t your station……  Not this week anyway.

Once I kick-start eating healthier, sort out my sleep routine, do some exercise, beat depression, stop procrastinating, learn how to run the business, get mentally strong enough to answer phone calls, then it’s game on.