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LYNNE HOGGAN: Egg rationing? I’ve been doing it for years

photo shows two eggs with the words 'hands off' and 'Lynne's egg' written on them
Can Lynne make herself any clearer?

Does anyone else label their food in work? Or have a secret stash at home so the other half or the kids can’t get their hands on YOUR treats?

I do. And I know there is an egg shortage going on, but I can’t believe I am at a stage of hiding mine at work.

The two eggs I’d left sitting in the kitchen vanished the other day.

They were in date so there was no reason for them to be thrown out.

So I guess I’m that person who hides their eggs at work now.

image shows the writer Lynne Hoggan next to a quote: "A good place to stash treats is somewhere you know they will never venture. Up high where they can't reach. Or better still, the cleaning cupboard."

Anyone who knows me, or listens to me on Pure Radio, will know I am quite precious about my eggs.

I often have to hide them in my fridge at home, under the veg or somewhere I know my hubby won’t find them.

Which seems crazy right?

But have you ever got up one day, all excited about the scrambled eggs and bagel you’re going to have for breakfast, only to find there are none left.

photo shows scrambled eggs on a plate.
The scrambled eggs of your dreams.

Trust me, it’s annoying.

And there’s an egg crisis at the moment – there’s even talk of rationing soon – so I better stock up, and think up some new hiding places.

Egg rationing I can deal with but butter thieves are another matter

The butter wars are raging too, especially now inflation has sent prices rocketing.

They’ve probably been going on in most offices around Scotland for a while.

And everybody with any sense knows you have to write your name on your tub of butter so nobody dares try to steal any.

photo shows tubs of butter on a supermarket shelf above a sign saying £4.50
Soaring butter prices might mean many more of us are labelling our food. Image: Shutterstock.

There are few things worse than opening the butter and finding someone has left their crumbs in it.

Or the worst – has scraped the remaining butter from the knife onto the edge of the tub before putting it back in the fridge.

Whoever you are who does that – you are a monster and you give me the rage.

I’m always interested to know what lengths other people go to in order to keep colleagues or family members away from their food.

I saw a viral picture this week in which someone had put tape around stuff in the fridge, like it was a crime scene.

Photo shows a tweet, featuring milk carton with yellow crime scene tape around it.

Would I do it? I wouldn’t hesitate,

Be kind, or be crafty?

The thing is, we Scots are a friendly bunch. If someone asked politely if they could have some of my food I’d be inclined to say yes and let them have it.

But if they dare go behind our back and take one of our choccy biscuits, or use our spread, we go absolutely berserk and feel the need to start hiding things.

photo shows a woman eating a cookie, while a dog looks at it with pleading eyes.
It’s good to share, but only if they ask nicely. Image: Shutterstock.

So if you’re looking for tips from an expert, a good place to stash treats away from the kids or a partner who can’t see green cheese go by them is somewhere you know they will never venture.

Up high where they can’t reach. Or better still, the cleaning cupboard.

As for the work fridge, get the sharpie out and start labelling like you never have before.

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